Cry me out
by ximbettingonalicex
Summary: School hot shot, Edward Cullen used to be Bella's best friend. Until he broke her heart and decided torturing her was more fun than friendship. When Bella finally decides to stand up to him will she have the heart for forgiveness? Does he even want it?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! So this is my first fanfiction ( scary), so I hope you like! I'm going to try and update once a week/two weeks. It would be sooner but I have HUGE exams.**

** Disclamier( ooh excitement)- I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. If I did the honeymoon would have been longer.**

**BPOV**

The one thing I am most certain of in life, is that I will always fall. And I don't mean that in some kooky metaphorical way. I mean it completely, in the literal sense. The ball comes flying at my face and I raise my arms, not to hit but to block. This starts a cataclysmic chain of events as the ball bounces off my wrists, and heads straight for the back of Jessica Stanley's head. She ducks and steps back, walking straight into me and I slip, falling sideways onto the hard, linoleum floor. I wince as a slight pain radiates in shockwaves up and down my hip. A few people chuckle "oh Bella Swan she fell again tut tut." They're fine. Them I can deal with. It's the others that make me want to get a lawnmower and go to town. They throw back their heads, their pretty blonde and chocolate hair cascading down their necks as they laugh. Rosalie Hale and the gang, at it again. Stupid, air head bimbos.

I sigh, getting up, brushing the dust of my ass.

" You okay?" Alice asks, skipping off her court to come talk to me. She ruffles my hair and I glare at her, twitching my eyes into little, tiny needle slits.

" That's a no then, right?" she grins.

" Oh, go win your stupid game you annoying Pixie. I'm going to get changed, screw the "wait for the bell rule!"

She tinkers, running off to join her teammates, who welcome her back with easy smiles, while I enter the changing rooms, breathing through my mouth to avoid the disgusting smell of sweat and uncleaned toilets. I let myself unwind beneath the cascading hot water that trickles from the shower. I may be slightly exaggerating on the hot part. I slip out if my gym kit and move to stand beneath the shower. The relatively warm water manages to unlock the stiff muscles I always associate with the 13th of September, A.K.A my birthday, but whatever, it doesn't matter. What does is the fact that it's the third anniversary of _that_ day. I know it happened " like ages ago" and I should "be over it" as Alice says but , it's just so damn freakin hard. Usually I'd be the one heading the cheers but when I fell but today... that just wasn't an option. It just served as a reminder of that time and by god, could I not stop myself feeling just tad bitter.

When Alice's bouncy figure, comes into view, I grab her in a hug, shaking my wet mop on her.

"She screeches and points her finger, eyes opening wide. " Devil Woman, kill!"

"You're going to get wet anyway Alice."

" Not while wearing clothes."

" Touché" ,I wink. "Did you win?"

" Of course"

" Annoying."

" Resentful."

" Short."

" Clumsy"

" Boy hair."

She gasps, folding her arms, burning holes in me. "Screw you Bella!"

I laugh. That was a low blow. But it's just oh so funny. Alice had a little mishap at the hairdressers last week. Her jet black hair has always been averagy shoulder length but... well, it doesn't even come past her ears now. The hairdresser took a few inches to mean, leave a few inches. I've never seen Alice 's room so... destroyed. It seems she took her anger out on her my little ponies and cabbage patch dolls.

She storms into the shower cubicle and still chuckling to myself, I swirl around to come face to face with non-other than Rosalie Hale. Scratch that, I'm not really that surprised. This is my most hated day but this, is her favourite day. Her platinum blonde hair is tied up in a high ponytail, the pointed arches of her perfectly plucked eyebrows raised to smirk at me. Rosalie's not only the girl that every other girl envies and the girl that every boys wants to be with yada yada yada, but an honest to freaking goodness model. Not supermodel standard or anything but she's shot a couple of Abercrombie ads and some other designer that I really wasn't bothered to learn.

" Hey, Bella. How's it going?" she asks overly sweetly.

" What now, Rosalie?"

She rests her hand on my shoulder. I just wanted to see if you were okay, you know, memories and all." She says this just loud enough that snickers erupt around the changing room. Everyone remembers. How could they forget though, really? I was the talk of school for months. Still am, to any incoming freshman or basically, anytime in September. Idiots. To everyone else it's like " Rosalie is so nice" to me its " this is the spawn of the devil and I want to slap her shiny made up face and say 'screw you bitch'. "

"I'm fine, Rosalie. Just as super as ever."

" That's great. I mean, all things considered."

The room erupts into whispers and snickers. Of " oh my gods" and " That's so funnies". Oh shut up.

She waves at one of her friends behind my shoulder and smiles that winning smile. Her eyes flicker back to me. "As always Bella, it's been a pleasure."

" Course it has you snivelling little ..."

" Don't worry about her Bella." Alice edges herself in. "Someday her hair will fall out and then we can cheer," she wraps her arms around my waist.

" Sure, sure Al. Whatever you say."

Walking into the cafeteria, just managing to avoid a whoopsie involving a chocolate pudding and my face, I try to keep the glare off my face. Alice told me it looked like it looked like I was constipated.

She chatters away to me in Alice language, stuffing her apple pieces into her mouth. I think I'd just about die without Alice. After my... bad experience as a freshman she really was my saviour. When everyone else whispered and laughed, she comforted and cuddled. When they tripped me and giggled she cursed at them and stamped on their feet. She may be small, but she can pack a punch.

" Are you even listening to me? Or were you just absorbing my beauty?"

I shake my head, realising I've been staring at her. " Sorry, yeah continue. Tell me all about the Hayden Lacoste ad. I'm ready for it"

"She eyes me warily before continuing, " Then he jumps, Bella. Jumps. God he's hot...."

It wouldn't be difficult to admire Alice's beauty considering she's a freaking sparkly, doe eyed, sweetie pie. She could have her pick of friends and guys at this school, but she says she's content with me and our sometimes other group of oddballs. And as for guys, despite how much she gets asked out, she's got standards. Well, it's lucky for some. I haven't been asked out since back then. The skin that just seems to be growing paler by the day and the mopey brown eyes don't exactly inspire thoughts like "I must have her." My one redeeming feature could be my rather adequate hair. Alice insists that I'm afraid it actually will pop out of meif I actually did something with the brown mop then it would be gorgeous but really. Really? I'm just not bothered.

But the one person who doesn't even _need_ to bother doing anything with his hair, is Edward freaking Cullen. And he's just walked in. How he actually manages to do it in slo-mo, I don't know but his bronze glinting hair, flashes in the cafeteria lights. His plain white t-shirt fits him just right that we can see his lean muscles. I can't help but stare. Even being in his class for over a decade hasn't hindered my natural instinct to just ogle. Then his flashing green eyes meet mine, piercing, clear. I look down.

" Calm Bella", Alice mutters under her breath.

I know he's coming over and my breath suddenly leaves me and I start to gasp for breath. My heart starts beating against my chest so hard I think it might just pop out. Please no. God no please. "I can't do this", I whisper under my breath.

I get up, leaving my tray where it is, stepping over my seat, eyes still on my feet.

"Going somewhere Bella," Edward calls, his voice like pure velvet over my skin.

I shut my eyes and keep walking. Obviously you know, any sane person would realise that this would be a damn stupid decision. Not me.

He catches me when I fall and I wrench myself away from his lean hard body. Fuck. And I don't say that often but jeez. Fuck.

The corner of his mouth quirks up to show that crooked smile I used to know so well. That crooked smile that used to make my heart melt. But that was before Rosalie.

" Were you running away from me?" he asks. Just like his just adorable girlfriend, he says it loudly.

I say nothing.

" That's a bit cruel don't you think Bella. He lowers his eyebrows, feigning pain.

I find my voice as I say " And what you're doing now isn't?"

He stares hard at me and the whole cafeteria hold their breath. Then I see the twinkle in his eye. And not the kind that Santa has. He opens his mouth and his voice echoes around the room. "But I love you."

The freaking laughter that's been following me all day explodes around me as salty taste of tears trickles down my face and onto my lips. The one thing he's never made fun of is what I said to him all those years ago. Sure he's skirted around it, but he's never said it our right to my face. And that really just shatters me. Because it really, really just makes me realise that I'm absolutely nothing to him. I take one last look at him, at his flawless cheekbones, his marble face. I don't understand why he does things like this to me. All year he ignores me and I'm perfectly fine with tracking the angular plains of his face in secret. But everyday this year he speaks to me. And every year it results in the exact same thing. The thing I'm going to do right now. I turn on my heels rushing rushing rushing out the door of the cafeteria, wiping the tears off my face with my sleeve. And I make a vow. I vow that I will never ever let Edward Cullen make my cry again.


	2. Chapter 2

**So here's chapter 2. Earlier than expected. Review if you can. Hope you like**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. That privilege belongs to the great Stephenie Meyer. Lucky woman. Hiss. **

Freaking curtain poles aren't supposed to make people cry, but of course one look at mine and I'm Niagra Falls. I curl my hand into a fist and bang it into my palm, little circles of numbness rippling out. As I grab a kilometre of tissues and wipe them hastily across my face, Alice stops me, holding my wrist.

" Stop. You'll make yourself blotchy."

" Oh yes, god forbid on the worst day of my life, I should dare look blotchy."

" Maybe I should have said bitchy."

I glare. She stares, her light grey eyes beaming into me. My walls begin to crumble and tears form yet again in my eyes. She sighs, wrapping her arm around me.

" I'm sorry Ali, " I sob . She's been so good to me, putting up with all my crap, skipping school, letting me cry on her shoulder.

" S'okay, Bells. Come on. Chin up and repeat the mantra."

" I hate the mantra." She begins to stare again so I sit up, dutifully and sigh.

" I, Bella Swan rock. I do have a life, and great friends. I shall not let Edward Cullen and his rowdy bunch of overly primped sheep affect me. One day high school will be over, and they will all end up living in trailer parks, whereas I will grow up and become a famous novelist, creating a character suspiciously like Edward Cullen, who will eventually die in a horrific death trap or be married to a goat."

" I see you've altered it slightly", she acknowledges my ending. The mantra, was of course something she came up with. An inspiring speech to give myself whenever I feel down. Really, it just made me feel a tad stupid. I half think its punishment for inflicting this day upon her. I look out my window and a silvery Volvo pulls into the driveway across the road. I look away and my eyes stray to the curtain pole and I sniff.

"Oh God", Alice starts. "Not the curtain pole again"

_Flashback. _

"_Dad. Where did you put the plates? I want to make a sandwich" , I shouted up the stairs. He mumbles something down but I think it's something along the lines of" check the boxes." Some help that is. There has to be well over a million of them. That is to be expected though when people move houses. I'd lived in Phoenix all my life, but after nine years in the sun, Dad had enough. He missed Forks the place where him and mom had grown up, missed the lush green grass and moody, cloudy weather. Mom, didn't but she loved Charlie enough to give it a chance and move back. She immediately retired to the bedroom as soon as the mattresses ( which she instructed were to be the first things into the house) were in. And Charlie's lazy, hence no help. So all the unpacking was left to little old me. _

_I bent over the cluster of boxes at the foot of the stairs, rummaging through them, considering just giving up and eating out of a jar like an impatient child. I was an impatient child. All I remember was the rumbling of my stomach. There was a noise behind me. Nothing deafening or anything, but a noise nonetheless. Charlie, I could still hear upstairs, Renee I knew to be asleep. In one of the boxes the shiny, wooden curtain pole from my old bedroom, sat at the bottom of one of the boxes. I grabbed it, swinging around expecting to find some burglar in a ski mask, preying upon poor unsuspecting children and their apparent box collecting hobby. Instead I smacked someone too small to be a dangerous house invader. Charlie came rushing down the stairs, shouting my name. He saw me standing stunned as I looked at the little bronze haired boy, frowning and rubbing the top of his head. He turned his head to look up at me and my chest pops out as I inhale sharply. His eyes are like freshly mown grass ,the sweetest, purest colour I've ever seen before._

" _What happened Bella?" Charlie asks glancing between the two of us._

" _I, I hit him", I stutter._

" _Why"_

" _I wouldn't mind knowing either," the boy adds dryly standing up and brushing his hands against his jeans._

" _I'm so sorry", I say trying to ignore his eyes. "I thought you were a burglar"_

_I would have expected that, you know he'd be angry or at least a little annoyed, that's kind of a normal reaction. Instead he laughed throwing his head back._

_Charlie muttered something, walking off as the boy said " I'm Edward. I saw you getting out of the moving van. Thought I'd come round. I didn't think I'd be beaten up though," he grinned._

_I couldn't help but smile back too. " I'm Bella"_

_End flashback_.

Stupid Edward.

Alice has been talking while I've been out in my dreamworld and I try to catch up with what she's saying.

".......... I mean it's your birthday and you're just sitting up here crying like a loser, let's go out, come on."

I think back to the cafeteria, colourful flashing faces, mouths pulled up into smirks. Something snaps inside me, breaking crumbling. " Fine. Let's go out. Emmett's having a party tonight, right? Let's go."

Her mouth drops open, a cave in her face. " Emmett's? Really? I don't think that's a great idea, Bella.

" You wanted to go out. So we will."

" But..." I stop her with my fingers.

" Do you want to do my hair?" That silences her, squeals echoing around the room as she envisions her plans for my locks.

" You sure you want to go in?" Lights flash inside the large white house, shouting and thumping music sweeping around us. Emmett McCarthy, famous football player and joker extraordinaire. And Edward's best friend. I don't actually mind him though, in fact we used to be pretty close. But ... we haven't exactly spoken to each other a lot in the past few year apart from his "Please calm down Bella's." I smooth down the dress that Alice forced me into. The clingy black material is just a little too tight for and short, coming a couple of inches above my knees, for my liking. At least she let me wear my black cons with it.

" Wait", she commands as I move forward, towards the door. "Hair, gloss check." She runs her hands a couple of times over the curls she's woven into my hair, then reaches into her purse and dabs something pink and sticky on my lips. This being girly thing is hard. Jesus. Alice makes it look so effortless in her denim skirt and flowy silver top.

" Now. You're perfect Bella." My eyebrows lower. Yeah, as if. "Don't be afraid." She squeezes my hand. I am such an idiot. What was I thinking? "Oh let's go, it will all be fine." Sure as freaking hell it'll be fine, just look at you now, shivering in your books (cons). You are a fool.

Alice glides up to the door, and knocks sharply on the wood. I follow, keeping my head down as I step up onto the porch.

" Welcome," Emmett booms., swinging the door open.

I look up and he shakes his head, stepping back just a little bit before grinning, " Bella!" He reaches forward picking me up off my feet and hugging me close. "This is a surprise." He drops me and I tug my dress back down.

" Hey Emmett." I smile up at his large frame. His eyes twinkle down at me. Emmett could literally crush me in a second. He's absolutely massive. It's no wonder he's the quarterback.

" Hi," Alice peaks up, annoyed at being ignored.

" Sorry Tiny, I didn't see you there," he laughs. She glowers back at him. Sometimes Alice can seem twenty feet tall.

Someone calls his name from behind and he glances back before returning his gaze to me. "Duty calls Bells. I'll talk to you later. Promise." He rests a hand on my shoulder, smiles softly and runs off with a "put down that chair."

The place is swarmed with people, dancing, laughing, and writhing up against each other. Alice tugs on my hand, "come on we'll get something to drink." We walk towards the kitchen, dodging the moving people. Some give me amazed looks, but most just settle into a greeting smile. You'd think I was a hermit or something. At least nobody has teased me yet.

" Well, well. Bella Swan. This is a surprise." I shouldn't have thought that. For gods sake, Bella this always happens in the movies. The "I spoke to soon moment."

He lazes against a wall in front of me, the corners of his mouth turned up. I try not to let my gaze follow down the lean crevices of his body. Just ignore him. Ignore him.

I grip Alice's hand tighter but not tightly enough. Someone bangs into us and our hands are ripped apart and Alice gets carried way in the sea of dancers, her tiny body too small to stand a chance against the moshing ones. He of course, takes his chance. I expect words, but I receive more. His arms wrap around my waist tugging me so I rest along the length of his body. His fingers trail lightly up the side of my stomach.

I gasp in shock, trying to pull away. " Edward. Stop!" I struggle.

He laughs lightly into my ear, hot breath on my neck. " Are you trying to fight back? It's pointless."

Tears begin to prick my eyes but I focus them away, remembering my vow. "Let me go. Now."

His puts his palm flat out against my rib cage, pressing down hard. "What are you doing here?" He asks.

Not what I thought he'd say to be honest. I thought he'd say something skanky like " You know you want me", just to be a dick.

" It's my birthday, in case you don't remember." I manage to get out.

" I remember. But _what_ are_ you_ doing here."

My heart begins to take flight, little racing palpitations against my chest. " Why shouldn't I be here? Do you hate me that much that you'd begrudge me a little fun on my birthday. I'd like something to remember the day I turned 18 besides crying and tears."

His hand leaves off, the pressure fading, his arm dropping. I'm quite surprised I managed to say all that. Alice would be so pleased. Then again, Alice would probably be sitting on his shoulders and hitting him with a saucepan if she got the chance.

He pauses, staring at me with those freaking eyes of his. Around us the party continues on but he still says nothing. I turn to leave, and return to my own world. His voice catches me. " I don't hate you, Bella."

I look over my shoulder, a ghost of a smile playing on my lips. "Sure you do."


	3. Chapter 3

**So here's chapter 3, Edwards points of view. Hope you like. Review please.**

**I don't own Twilight, but I own this story. Woohoo. **

**EPOV**

Bella. Fucking. Swan. In Emmett's house. At Emmett's party? Bella Swan does not _do_ parties and she does not dress, like, like that, all legs and skin and fucking long silky hair that just makes you want to run your hands through it and hear her sigh.

She comes in with that thing Alice. I've never liked her, not even when Bella and I were friends. I assume the new dressed up Bella is due to her. Maybe she's not that bad then, if she can make her look that way. I smile to myself, watching Bella as she lowers her head, nervous. Never one for social situations that one was.

" Hey," Rosalie snaps her fingers in my direction.

" What?", I reply sharply.

" You haven't listened to one word I've said."

" So?" I roll my eyes and lean against the wall. Sure, Rose is gorgeous. Absolutely stunning really. But I'm not with her for her fucking mind am I?

She scowls at me, flicking her hair back, meeting Mike Newton's eyes. They've been following her like a lapdog all night. All year. It's kind of pathetic. Does she think that will make me jealous? Really? We both have things on the side, that's the way it's been for years. It's no big deal if she wants to go off and shag him. I wouldn't care at all.

I glance back over to where Bella stands, or rather is about to stand as Emmett drops her back onto the ground. My eyes go straight to her thighs where her dress has ridden up, creamy skin full on show. Pull it own Bella. Pull it down now, before anyone else gets to see.

I let out a sigh of relief as her hands reach down and she tugs. Good girl. Rosalie eventually has enough of me, kicks me in the shins and beckons Mike Newton up the stairs. That hurt, bitch! I wince, resisting the urge to sit down and massage my ankle as that would luck weird as hell. Weird for someone like Edward Cullen, anyway.

Short stuff takes Bella's hand and starts to lead her towards the kitchen. Her eyes are still down and I can't help it. I have to say something to her. I have to make her see me. She never looks at me. Not anymore. That's why this day is my favourite day. It's the one day I know I can make her notice me, the one day where her eyes follow my every move. Even if they're filled with worry, at least she's looking at me. And I can look at her. But only for this one single day. That's all I allow myself. I went pretty far today, though. I really was cruel, too cruel perhaps. I told her I loved her. Messing of course. Edward Cullen does not fall in love. But ... I couldn't help it. I just love seeing her cry over me.

She tries to walk by me without a word and that really pisses me off. I narrow my eyes and my fists twist into neat little balls, my fingernails digging into my hands. That's when it hits me. Her fucking scent. Strawberries and freesias. She's always smelled like that. I used to hug her a lot when we were younger, every chance I got and I'd always bury my face in her hair, just inhaling and inhaling and ... my hands reach out instinctively gripping her and crushing her against my body. She fits perfectly and I press my hand into her skin harder. She struggles and I can sense she wants to cry. I can feel it in the trembling of her voice, the shaking of her body. I grin to myself. I'm an evil sadist, I really am.

Then she says something along the lines of it being her birthday and asks if I remember. Of course I bloody remember, how could I forget?! Really Bella, do you think so little of me? Well I wouldn't blame her after what Rose and I did to her. What I still do to her.

I ask her a perfectly adequate question. Why exactly she's here. I don't think this is particularly rude or anything, I'm just curious. After that face she made, running out of the cafeteria, I didn't think we'd see hide nor hair of her for several days. Apparently I was wrong. I pause when she asks me why I hate her. Perhaps an even stupider question that if I remember her birthday. Of course I don't hate Bella... I just... couldn't... can't be what she wants me to be. After I came out of the "Darkward ages" ( mostly thanks to Bella) I just wasn't the same and she didn't get that. She wanted me to go back to "happy go lucky Edward", the boy who played the piano so carelessly, who loved so freely. Impossible. Better to make her hate me. Better to make her fear me. Hurting her one day a year will be better than disappointing her for a lifetime. Jesus. That's bitter. I honestly can't think of anything to say to her. That's right. Edward Cullen speechless. Who knew? But her eyes when she looks away are so... blank. Any other day, this would be whatever. But today? That just doesn't work.

" I don't hate you." I say, finally as she turns to walk away.

She turns back, looking just over her shoulder, her eyelids just a little lower, half glacing at the ground, half glancing at me. " Sure you do."

Fuck.

My body feels just a little bit empty without her pressed against it. Soft. Sweet. Jessica Stanley wanders by mountains of curls surrounding her face. She pouts her lips, locking her eyes to mine then dragging them away. Her mouth is dripping in gloss, and to be honest, yeah it looks all shiny and stuff but it's fucking annoying. Sticky and shit. She bites her lip, staring at me. Well. She never was subtly that one. But who cares? I slide up to her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

" Hey, Stanley." I murmur.

She shivers against me. "Hi Edward." She tries to make her voice sound all sexy but it comes out just a little too deep. A little manly actually. Kind of funny.

I'll just skip to it, " Fancy going upstairs?"

She nods quickly. There wasn't really another reaction I expected.

She snores softly beside me, her curls knotted from my hands gripping them. Then she moves to throw herself around me, one leg straying to link around mine, a hand pressing into my chest. I climb out of the bed, feet meeting Emmett's cushioned blue carpet. He's not going to be happy I shagged in his bed. Again. Stanley doesn't wake up, thankfully. I don't think I could deal with a whiny "why are you leaving", right now. I'm just not in the mood for it.

I slip on my jeans and T-shirt, closing the door quietly behind me. Emmett is splayed out across the couch, mouth open wide, emitting a noise I only thought lions or elephants could make. The house is completely destroyed, curtains torn down, beer cans littering the ground, broken bottles, a few ripped t-shirts. The girls of Forks high certainly know how to party. The front door is slightly ajar, the wind whipping in, cold as ice. I walk out into the frozen weather, taking a cigarette out from my pocket and light it, leaning against the porch. Breathing in sweet nicotine, I close my eyes and exhale.

_Flashback._

"_Bella" ,I shouted. "Wait!"_

_She laughed back at me, her hair sticking to her face. Chocolate against creamy, silky skin._

_The rain pounded down against us as we ran down the street, shrieking in both fear and delight when the sounds of thunder boomed. _

_We, Bella and I had been friends for two years at this point and really were literally inseparable. I was always either round at her house, or she at mine. Preferably at hers. I liked Charlie and Renee much more than Carlisle. They always welcomed me with either a booming laugh or a sweet smile. Carlisle never welcomed me at all. I was lucky if I saw him once a day. _

_Finally we reached her tattered red brick house with the scattered lavender and wild poppies. Just as we're making our way up the pathway leading to her door, Bella's foot stepped into a puddle and she shrieked in surprise, her foot twisting at an awful angle as she tipped sidewise. Everytime she did that, the same thing happened. This little coil of tightness would spring up around my chest, clenching, afraid so afraid, that she would get hurt, that she would hit or head, her leg and break. She had a bit of a problem with balance so the two broken legs and one broken arm not to mention the countless number of scrapes and bruises, were natural occurrences in our everyday lives. Needless to say, I was fairly sure I would die of a heart attack before I reached the ripe old age of thirteen._

_This time I managed to reach out and grab her under the arms, picking her up before she can hit the ground. Even in the rain the blood gathering in her face was obvious and she blushed brightly._

"_Thanks," she giggles sweetly to cover up her embarrassment._

_I smile brightly down at her, chuckling under my breath._

"_Nice catch."_

_I let Bella go slowly so she doesn't drop to the round again and the two of us turned round. Standing before us is a girl, about our age with billowing blonde hair whipping in the wind, and a pale white dress and rubber boots. She was protected by a large multicoloured umbrella, which barely managed to cover all the wavy hair. To me she resembled a fairy of some sort, a magical being. But on first sight, I sensed that she was anything but._

" _Hey", Bella chirped, the friendly girl she is._

" _Hi." The girl replied, but her eyes are in me. " I'm Rosalie." I've just moved in up the street."_

"_Another new girl." Bella laughs. "I guess I'm the old new girl now, Edward. You want to come in Rosalie?"_

" _Bella?" I finally speak. Because it's not just any day, it's her birthday. The past two years had been spent under the covers watching movies, wading through junk food, and sleeping only when we were falling down with tiredness. This went on for a couple of nights until Charlie or Renee said I _should_ probably go home. I was really looking forward to doing it again. With just Bella. _

_Rosalie looked at me again. "Do you want me to come in?"_

" _Sure," Bella nodded quickly, completely oblivious. _

" _If she wants you to, then come in Rosalie," I reply._

_That night, Bella and I really did everything we had planned to... but with Rosalie. To be honest I thought she was getting in the way more than a little bit. Every time I would hug Bella or put an arm around her, Rosalie would pipe up with something like " I want a drink" or " I'm too hot/cold/warm." But Bella dealt with it, refusing to ignore her, putting her demands down to nerves. Later she told me " It's not easy to be new Edward. Especially in a town as tightly packed as Forks. Not everyone can have you as their first friend here. But she can, so let's make it a little easier. Kay?" I agreed. I never could say no to her._

I take one last puff of the cigarette and drop it on the ground. It burns brightly because I haven't bothered to put on my shoes, so stamping it out is out of the question. But this is Forks, soon enough, the cold and the water that's always lurking, puts it out. I sigh and walk back into the house. Maybe Emmett wouldn't mind sleeping with Jessica. Just for tonight.

Monday morning is not good. Well, is it ever? I mean you _know_ there's five more days of hell to endure. Five more days with teachers shouting, homework and people trying to suck up to you. Five days of other things and other people ruling your life.

I rest my head on the steering wheel, groaning. My head pounds, mini earthquakes, shaking in my brain. I knew I shouldn't have downed that bottle of vodka last night... but Rose was at me, Jessica wouldn't stop calling and Bella not only thought I hated her, but hated me. And my anger at that really pissed me off because that's what I was trying to get her to do. Now that I suspect its happened I just feel shit. Not to mention it's no longer the 13th of September. I'm not allowed to be bothered by her.

"Really, Ed? Drinking alone on a Sunday. Kinda sad don't you think?"

"Fuck of Emmett."

I turn my head slightly to the left and glare at Emmett's floating head in my window.

" That's a nice look", he grins. "Get out. School's starting."

" Go away," I moan.

He rips open the door, grabbing me by my shirt collar and pulling sharply. I tumble out of the car, onto the ground and practically bare my teeth at him.

" What the fuck?" I get up brushing the dirt off the ass of my jeans.

He throws an arm around my shoulder pulling me towards the school. Two parking spaces down , Bella Swan stands looking at the two of us. In a second she's going to turn away and walk towards the school, as if we didn't exist, as if I didn't exist. Then we're going to complete the rest of the school year, go to college and never ever see each other again.

But she doesn't do that. Instead she smiles, fucking smiles at us, both of us and her face just lights the fuck up.

" Hi Emmett."

" Bella," Emmett cheers. I knew he missed her after we went our separate ways and it kind of hurt him, when she stopped talking to him as much. This has to be the first time in years she's willingly talked to him.

" Hi Edward." She looks dead at me, right into the eyes.

I can't seem to say anything back. Second time in less than a week. Damn. It's like my mind has gone completely blank. She doesn't turn away and Emmett leaves my side to stand beside hers. Bastard. She glances my way, where I now stand on my own and then turns to face Emmett, chattering away still with her fucking smile. They walk into school together, me lagging behind them, forgotten. And I absolutely seethe.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey peoples! Sorry update is a little late, but it's here! School's just been mad hard. And there was snow in Ireland that we haven't seen since 1939! Amazing! So here's chapter 4. Bella's POV... Edwards next. So REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. Please? **

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing sadly. I just twisting the characters.**

Over the years I've seen Edward mad. Most of the time at me. Or the TV. But never, ever have I seen him absolutely boiling with rage. I've seen him sneer, glare, tease and hurt but today is different. He's absolutely furious. When I smile at him, his eyes turn black, warning me to enter at my own peril.

It was Alice's idea.

" You're a big wimp, Bella Swan," she told me after I informed her about the whole perverted hug debacle, fleeing from Em's house.

Lovely as it was to have a little shot of confidence booster, she had a point. I've been too afraid. Of everything. Of Edward . Of September the 13th. Of Emmett even, and that just isn't right. He never did anything but I cut him out of everything, putting him right on the edge of my existence. I divided my life down the middle like a sheet of paper, straight laced, no room for compromise. Not anymore.

"Pants on the ground, pants on the ground," Emmett booms down the hallway. People turn to stare, mouths dropping like they've been stricken with two tonne weights. Maybe not just from Emmett's rather noisy singing campaign. " Finish it Bella." He claps an arm around my shoulder.

I laugh leaning forward just a little bit, my eyes closing. " Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground."

He begins to laugh with me and the two of us pause mid stride to let the tears roll down our faces . Well I do. Fun as Emmett is he's not going to cry with laughter, especially in public unless something really hilarious happens.

A dark cloud suddenly zooms onto the horizon. Glowering like an angry child with chilling green eyes it manoeuvres its way up to me, setting a hand on the arm Emmett has wrapped around my shoulder.

" Fuck off, Isabella. Now."

I'm proud that I don't even flinch when he says this. Not exactly a new occurrence but when I decided to become a little more chummy chummy with Emmett.... I expected you know who would be thrown in with the deal. The one time I don't want a buy one get one free. But... What does one say when someone tells you to "fuck off"? Do you actually... fuck off? Isn't that a bit... weak? Normally that's what I'd do. But I've decided to become strong independent Bella, corny as it sounds.

" Screw you, Edward Cullen , you're nothing but an overly primped jackass with ginger hair. Who the hell do you think you're kidding with "bronze?" _You_ fuck off."

Well. This is what i should have said. Instead I just... smile weakly at Emmett. And I fuck off.

I settle beside Alice, lowering my head to rest in my arms. I love the fact the library is never quite. There's always somebody hustling and bustling around, looking for something, giggling with their friends. And Rosalie or Edward would never be caught dead here. Always a plus Edward wouldn't need to anyway. He's got his own library. One I used to frequent. A lot. Stupid, shiny, bookcase owner. Today there's a couple making out against the shelf behind me. Normally I'd laugh. Today it just feels like an opera singer has popped out and went "Alone, alone, you are all ALONE. Forever."

" Your plan didn't go so well I'm guessing?" she asks dryly.

" No, It went fan-freaking tastic. I'm just acting gloomy and reserved because I've decided to go emo on you. Yeah of course it went bad."

" No need for sarcasm, twithead. You should have used your feminine wiles. I.e that killer bod you hide under all those hoodies."

" Wimp, twithead? Seriously Ali feeling the love. Anymore suggestions?"

" Motto?" She suggests, shrugging.

" I preferred twit head."

We gather our books, making our way steadily up the stairs to our lab class. Biology, actually an okay class for me, because it basically consists of me and Alice pointing at the penis diagram. Yeah we really are four. Shoot us.

Somebody has spilt yogurt on the stairs. Of course they did this on purpose because they knew I was coming this way and I don't see this and as soon as my converse runners set foot in it, I go flying backwards, my leg up on the air. Oh hell, I think. Not another broken leg. I should sound more panicked but it's more or less normal in my list of everyday occurrences.

Instead of meeting hard floor, I meet hard body. Warm hands grip either side of my waist settling me down onto the floor, slowly.

I breathe out a sigh of relief and turn slowly around to face my saviour.

Amused green eyes meet mine, mouth turned up in a wry grin. A far cry from the death star I got this morning.

" Oh. You." I start.

" Yeah. Me." Edward mimics. "Say thank you Isabella, dear. You might have died. Then who would we have to torment."

I grit my teeth together and clench my fists tightly. Too far. Just too freaking far Edward Cullen. I close my eyes and breathe out through my teeth. You can do this Bella. You can do it. I open my eyes and smile as sweetly and sugary as I possible can.

He narrows his eyes and I step forward one pace, then two till I'm in front of him, still smiling. I reach up and wrap one hand around his neck, pressing my body flush against his. Any second I honestly expect my body to meet his fist. But no. He stands there, still... well what I can interpret as... completely stunned. His eyes follow mine as I bite my lip, imitate what I've seen Alice do around that boy that works in the supermarket. Well. I attempt to. I stand on my tippy tippy toes, leaning up to whisper in his ear. He smells of earth and cinnamon.

" Edward?" I press one hand flat out against his chest. Beneath his dark green sweater his heart is beating rather hard... yet again only shock I assume. Not me.

" Fuck. Off." I bring one of my legs up and knee him... moderately hard, where the sun don't shine and turn swiftly around to meet a cheering Alice who throws herself into my arms. Behind me he lets out a quick gasp of breath.

"Nah nah Cullen." She waves a finger. He's staring up at the light, slightly bent over.

Alice loops a hand through the crook of my elbow and drags me off laughing, before he snaps out of it. We were the only ones on the stairs I think... I hope. Because that has just taken away half my life. Really. I mean that. And god, that should have felt good. Years of frustration built up into one potential "ruining the chances of bearing children" kick. It didn't. I just felt...awful.

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**BTW, Anyone reading master of the universe.... it just keeps getting better right?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey people! A little earlier than expected but hey when the mood hits you, you follow it. Edward's point of view as promised. Should only be 2/3 more chapter before you find out what he did, ooooh. Anyway hope you enjoy and don't forget review review review.**

**Disclaimer : I don't own twilight that privilege belongs to the enigmatic Stephenie Meyer, as we all well know. Hence why we are addicted to fanfiction.**

**Brilliant **

Chapter 5 epov

What just happened? Did Bella Swan just... no. That had to be.... but no it couldn't have been my imagination... because surely the pounding pain down _there_, can't be caused from my brilliant mind. What the fuck like? I knew she was pissed when I said the only reason I let her "live" was to tease her but seriously? That's my manhood down there. My livelihood. I'm not that nice a person.

The pain fades tortuously slowly as I stand on the stairs in the whitewashed hallway. Her body pressed against mine, her breath on my neck. Suddenly I'm filled by a whole new ache. I guess I'll be late for biology then. Fucking. Bella. Swan. I close my eyes and lean up against the wall, staring at the ceiling. I remember another time like this. Another more... innocent time.

"_Edward", she shouted. " Get off!" She brought her knee up and kicked me in the balls, the first time anyone had ever done that. I rolled off her, onto the floor next to her bed with a soft groan of discontentment. I raised one hand to my forehead, biting my lip so hard that the salty taste of iron enveloped my mouth. All I could do was try to focus on her hopefully ironic my barbie collection._" _Are you okay?" Bella asked from over me. _

"_No. Not really."_

_She stepped down off the bed kneeling down beside me, eyes bearing into mine." What were you trying to do?"_

_Is she going to make me say it? Really is she. She is. She honestly really is. Come on, Cullen. Man up. You're fourteen. You can say it._

" _I was trying to kiss you," I said quickly, hoping she won't be able p understand me._

_Her eyes widened in unabashed surprise, pert red mouth falling open into a little ' o.'_

_I sat up, shaking my head. " I'm sorry. Assaulting you on your bed probably wasn't a good idea. And you're obviously repelled by me... so let's just forget it. Okay?" I refused to look at her_

_She tried to stop herself from smiling, but she couldn't and it beamed across her face, flashing white. Bella leaned forward just a bit, a spark firing up in her Cadbury eyes. _

" _Why were you trying to kiss me Edward?" she grinned._

_I gulped, and I was sure my newly acquired adams apple was bobbing madly. _

" _I uh, you know... all my friends have done it... just thought... you know we're friends... might as well be you."_

_She sat back, raising an eyebrow, smile fleeing her face. "Might as well be me? God, Edward." She stood up. _

_Crap. Gotta make it better, gotta make it better. " No, I mean I wanted it to be you. Not you know... I didn't mean that I didn't have another choice... just... came out wrong?"_

_She sighed and moved to her window seat, sunlight gleaming in creating a curtain of light, a halo around her head. Bella began to fiddle with her hands nervously, shooting me fleeting glances._

_What to do. What to do. Crap. Crap._

" _You can kiss me," she said quietly. " If you still want to."_

_My heart started to beat faster and I took a step forward. "Really?" She looked up at me as I made my way towards her. When I sat down beside her, she nodded her head, twitching slightly from fear. I was too. I'd never kissed a girl. _

_I took one of her hands in mine and put it on my knee. Bella closed her eyes and we both leaned forward awkwardly, manoeuvring our angles. Just before our lips met, I glanced at Bella's smooth, rosy ones and had to order my hand to stop sweating. Our mouths collided softly, unmoving at first. That scent of strawberries overwhelmed me and I captured her top lip between my own . In sync they began to move together. It was better than I could have ever imagined. So soft. So sweet. So Bella. Almost naturally my tongue swept across her bottom lip, and she opened her mouth for me, letting me dive into the unknown world. She let out a little gasp and I held myself back from doing the same. Should I attempt to cop a feel? I didn't get a choice. _

"_Go Eddie boy!" Emmett shouted from outside the window. Bella pulled back in shock, and the two of us looked at each other, more than a little taken aback. That was... wow... Bella... wow._

"_Edward!" Jesus, that boy is too loud. I wrenched open the window. _

" _Shut it Em!" Outside he beamed up at us, curly brown hair waving in the wind. Emmett was courtesy of 7__th__ grade. We got on like a house on fire. Our friendship wasn't as close as Bella and mines but then again whose was? Beside him stood Rosalie, scowling up at the two of us. Bella didn't mind Rosalie, she still maintained more than a year later that Rose was still trying to fit in. Emmett fancied her. She really just annoyed the hell out of me. She was always hanging out of my arm, clinging to me and whining. I guess... not impressed to catch me with Bella. _

"_Come up", Bella interrupted._

_Great._

_Emmett barged in the door, throwing an arm around Bella and pulling her into her ensuite. She turned around towards me, wincing just a little before Emmett, gossip he is, ordered for her to tell him everything._

"_So," Rose started as they disappeared. I rolled my eyes. "If Bella gets a kiss, do I?"_

_I scowled. "No."_

_She fluttered her eyelashes , pouting her lips just a little too much. "Why?"_

" _Because you're not Bella."_

_She sucked in her cheeks. " It's not like you'll be cheating on her. Anyway, you're only friends, right?"_

" _Well, yeah. She's my best friend." What else could we be. Was she suggesting Bella was my girlfriend? But... no... Bella's my _**friend**_._

_My phone began to ring, blaring out across the room. I reached into my pocket and pressed the green phone button._

"_Hello?" Silence._

_Emmett came out of the bathroom, Bella hoisted over one of his shoulders. She reached for me under his arm and I started to laugh._

"_Edward?"_

_My smile dropped." Hi dad. What is it.?" More silence._

"_Edward, son it's... it's your mother... she's..." I dropped the phone. I dropped to the ground. Emmett let go of Bella and she ran to me, throwing herself into my arms. I stared at nothing._

" _Edward, what is it?"_

_I brought one arm up to her neck, tugging on her hair. _

"_It's my mom. She's. She's..."_

" _What is it Ed?" Emmett asked, concerned._

" _She's dead."_

I shake my head, and slap both my cheeks. Snap out of it Cullen. You're not going back there. Never, never are you going back to that dark, dark place. I plaster a smirk on my face, my mask. Nobody will see through it, nobody ever does.

I walk through the doors into my biology class. My eyes automatically go to Bella, and I know the green in my eyes is taking on that dark black colour so often associated with my explosive nature. She's not in her usual seat, but is instead on the opposite side of the room, next to the window. She's looking forlornly across at short stuff, Brandon on the other side, both arms outstretched towards each other.

"Alice", she calls.

"Bella", she shouts.

"Freaks", I point to the two of them. The class erupts into outpours of laughter. Brandon stands up onto her chair, making her maybe about the same heights as me.

She raises one hand and glares before hissing loudly "Impotent". The room goes silent. I open my mouth to ready myself for a retaliation. No one talks to me like that. No one.

Mr. Banner, the teacher, places a hand on my shoulder. "Sit down Edward. We've changed places. Just choose one and deal with it."

The only place left... Is beside her. Of all the dumb luck in the world. My nostrils flare.

"Something wrong, Mr Cullen?" Besides your obvious lack of tact, Baldy, no. None whatsoever. I'd love to protest, really I would. But I'm close to a suspension and one more act of quote "misbehaviour" i.e, sexual conduct in the janitor's closet, back talk etc, then my chances at NYU are pretty much shot. Reluctantly I make my way to the seat next to her, plopping myself down, refusing to look her way.

He begins to talk. Cell division, I think. I've done this before. Carlisle wants me to be a doctor. If I want to have girls over, I have to study bio. This, of course means I can rest my eyes and try to block out that clenching feeling at the pit of my stomach.

Something hits my cheek. I raise my head and a small piece of paper rests on the desk beside me. Bella looks straight at the black board.

I open it carefully

_Hey,_

_I'm really sorry about earlier... just you weren't very nice... and... well thanks you saved me another trip to the hospital. _

_Bella_

As if it could be from anyone else. I don't bother glancing her way, I just wave my hand. Whatever.

I hear her tear out another piece of paper and she begins to write furiously.

_You okay?_

I swivel round in my chair. Too far. She's just going too far. Notes in class Bella? We're not friends. Can't be friends. Never again.

" Who the fuck do you think you are?" I hiss under my breath. " Stop fucking talking to me."

She stares blankly back before leaning forward and tapping the page with her pen. She knows. After all these fucking years she knows. She knows I'm thinking about my mother. About her... death. One red light. One drunk driver, that's all it took to take my mother away from me. I was 14, I didn't deal with it well. Still don't deal with it well, but I'm doing fair enough, considering. Bella tried, she tried so hard to help... but in the end... all I did was destroy her... I broke her heart...

I turn back around, ignoring her for the rest of the lesson. When the bell rings and I've had a thorough revision course on the phases of mitosis, I try to glide out of the room, but Bella walks beside me. Under her breath she squeezes by me and says " I'm always here for you Edward."

I stop in my tracks. Why, why does she have to be so ... so Bella?

I slam the door behind me, causing the air to whip around me, tousling my hair.

" Edward?" Esme calls.

I ignore her and walk up the stairs to my room.

"Edward?", she calls again.

Esme is dad's new wife. Younger than him of course, barely thirty. It took all of one year for him to get over mom's death. Heartless bastard. It's not like I have anything against Esme. She's nice. Pretty too, in a long brown hair, kind eyes sort of way, but she tries way too hard to be my mother. No way in hell am I letting that happen.

I flop down on my bed groaning and hug my pillow in an attempt to go to sleep. School can just wipe you out. If it's not homework, it's study if it's not study it's project work, and so on so fucking forth. But I do it all the same. Why, god knows. It's certainly not to impress Carlisle. And it's not because mom's looking down on me or some shit like that... she's gone.

I turn around and stare at the Natalie Portman poster I have on my ceiling. Gorgeous girl... no doubt about that but all I can think about is Bella, Bella, Bella. The walls of my room are dark green... not to match my eyes, just... I like green. School books and normal books are trashed around the place, my lamp thrown on the ground. I should really tidy up. It seems there is an ever growing pile of clothes gathering in front of my closet. Soon it will become Everest.

Esme knocks on the door once, then again. I sigh and get up, and wrench it open.

" What?" I glare.

She steps back surprised. " I just wanted to see if you were okay?" Why do people keep asking me that?

" Well I'm fucking fine, not that it's any of your business," I snap back.

She cringes and steps back, nodding.

"Anything else?"

" N, No", she stutters.

" Fantastic." I slam the door and turn around, sliding down the wood to rest my head in my hands. It feels as if there's an elephant weighing down on top of me. I need relief. I need Rosalie. Specifically I need her body.

I step out of the house, again ignoring Esme's calling and start to make my way down the street. I cross the deserted road, glad that for once in this small ass town the rain has decided to stay away. I don't think I could deal with anything else being added to my already gloomy mind.

Something small grabs my elbow and I glance over in surprise.

Bella blinks up at me, eyes wide, beautiful. Beautiful? Where the hell did that come from? Bella was only ever your friend... aside from that kissing incident.

I tear myself away from her. " What do you think your doing", I growl.

Her eyes open wider and she starts to shift uncomfortably on her feet. " I... today... you... looked... um, bad. I just wanted to see if you were alright... you never answered."

" And why the fuck would anything involving me have anything to do with you?"

Her shoulders come up, a sure sign that she's getting pissed. I half want to block the jewels. I don't think they could take another beating.

" Look. I understand you despise me but..." I begin to walk in the opposite direction and she follows quickly behind me. I whirl round once more, intending to make sure she never, never talks to me again... and I underestimate where she is. I expect her to be a meter away from me. Maybe two. But she stands right behind me and as I turn she slips, too quickly for me to catch her. I watch in horror as she hits the hard concrete pavement with an ear-splitting crack.

**Thanks so much to everyone who's reviewed really. I love you ****You rock. **

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	6. Chapter 6

**Hey people! Chapter 6 here! I think it reveals a little more about Bella and Edward... I hope. And maybe you'll like Edward a little more, now he's a bit more sweet. I really hope you enjoy! Can you review please? I'd love that. Really. It would make me smile. Alot. ****I went back and forth between a BPOV and an EPOV. Couldn't decide so I chose both!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nope I own nothing. It all belongs to SMeyers, who we all worship. **

** EDIT: This chapter is rated M for drug use/language.**

**Bpov**

I cry out as I hit the ground, my foot twisting at a horribly awkward and sore angle. As I sit up cradling my injured ankle, I suck in my lips and my eyes begin to fill with tears. But I won't cry, I promised. Not in front of Devilward.

Dick. Head. When he came into biology, I recognised the strain in his face, the forced pretence he brings up around him whenever he starts to think of her. I'd seen it plenty of times over the years and it always, _always_ struck fear into the very heart of my being. Of course, I'd never have dared approach him. But... he was beside me and there was a black shadow of doom surrounding my biology table. So, I tried to ask if he was okay. He didn't answer, of course. Then I, ever the martyr, approached him in an attempt to check once more on the boy who causes me nothing but heartache and treats me like I'm the fly stuck in the mud on the bottom of his shoe. I expected anger. I did not expect physical anger. At least he seems to look a little worse for wear over the fact he nearly _broke _my ankle.

He shakes his head and crouches down beside me, his hair covering his forehead and eyes. He reaches down with his long rake-like fingers and grips the bottom of my foot, running his thumb over my ankle. Little seismic earthquakes run up and down my leg and I slap his hand away, bringing yet another stinging sensation to my body.

" It's not broken," he states, looking away from me.

" Yeah. I know." I press my hands onto the path and start to ready myself to get up. It's quite difficult when your ankle feels like it's hanging off by a thread.

He sighs and slips his hands under my arms hoisting me up. "Gently," he says lowering my feet back onto the ground. I stand unsteadily, holding my leg slightly off the ground.

" Well?" I start.

" Well, what? Edward replies, cocking his head to one side.

"My apology."

He snorts. "You ran into me?"

" You hit me, when I was trying to be nice! God you're such a prick! What the hell like?" I smack him again on the chest.

He raises on eyebrow " You've acquired a taste to violence over the years, Bella. First my manhood, now my chest. What gives?"

" After, everything you've done to me, do you really expect me to answer that?"

He remains silent, clucking his tongue. A car roars by, beeping. Probably a follow of Edwards. For there are many despite his general bastardness. Whatever, assface. I don't need your apology.

I attempt to storm off, petty as it is, but creating hurricanes of fury is difficult when you've only got one foot. My right leg collides with my left and in pain, I trip falling again. I land with a loud, incorrigible smack.

" Okay. Now it's broken", I muffle, head still facing the path.

His footsteps patter on the sidewalk and again settles down beside me, letting out a deep breath.

I turn around onto my back and pull myself up ( from the waist), to face him. He pauses for a moment then lets out a deep chuckle. My eyebrows fly away past my forehead. A laugh? From... Edward?

He ruffles my hair, shaking his head and grips me tightly so I stand fully up. I cling to him so as not to collapse again. "Can you walk?"

" Totally", I reply, holding back a wince.

He runs a hand quickly through his bronze tuft (I now regret calling him ginger, for in this light it most definitely is god-like. Curse him), looking away into the distance, then turning back to frown down at me.

" Well. I guess there's no other choice", he sighs. He bends down slightly lifting me up under my knee, and pulls me into his arms.

I gasp and point my finger at him. "Put me down." I lower the finger, pointing back to the ground. "Now."

"I'll take you to Carlisle, Bella. Stop fidgeting. He'll be home in a few minutes. Just...sit."

To struggle or not to struggle that is the question. I don't really want to go to Edward's house... or meet his rather disconnected father...but then again... I want to go to Edward's house. " Fine", I say sullenly, crossing my arms.

"Great" he rolls his eyes. I don't think I know how to deal with "sort of nice Edward." It's been so long since I've looked at him and he hasn't looked back with blinding hatred. I almost want to smile. If Alice were here, she'd be screaming in my ear. If she could reach. Oh low blow. Oh. I did it again.

" Edward!" Rosalie screeches from behind. I knew it was Rosalie because no other person could reach that frequency. Unless they were a human whistle.

That screech kick starts something in me... I was looking forward to Edward's house? Edward? Who's with Rosalie? After what the two of them did to me, what the hell am I thinking? After all _he's_ done? I got drugged up on freaking Cullen pheromones and was swept away in the tide of cinnamon. And memories. Alice _should _be screaming. Hell, _I _should be screaming.

" Edward. I'm serious this time. Put me down." He doesn't look at me, just sort of glares at Rosalie.

"Put her down Edward", she says. "Do with Bellie Wellie tells you."

His arms grip me tighter. " Rose, she broke her ankle. Give the girl break . I'm just taking her to Carlisle."

" No you're not. Let me go Edward."

_(Flashback)_

"_Edward! Let go of it."_

" _It's mine, Hella." He slurred, gripping the Jack Daniels bottle tighter and cracking up at his own joke. It had been three months since his mother died. I was back to school... 8__th__ grade, but I hardly ever made it. Edward wasn't dealing with his mother's death well. I didn't expect him too, but... I'd never thought Edward could be like this. After the funeral, he stayed at my house for a couple of weeks, not being able to bear going back to his house with Carlisle there. He had however managed to sneak out a lot of liquor before he made his way to my place. He suggested we try it, I said no. He drank everything. The first time he threw up, I mopped up his face, I helped him into bed. This gradually became the norm for us. What was worse was that ... sometimes he'd black out. Just forget everything. It frightened me so much to see him like that... so destroyed. I tried. I spent every spare minute with him ,talking to him. But he was so bitter and... I didn't know what to do._

_My hand hurt from trying to take the bottle off him and I let go, knowing he'd get it anyway.I took the hand that's was not clutching the bottle as he raised the bottle to his mouth to take a swig. He, in turn, gripped it back, the sign that made me just keep on trying. He needed me. No matter how hard it was, he needed me._

" _Are you coming back to school? It's better since we're the oldest now. Emmett really misses you, you know... You're a team."_

_He scoffs. " School is for pussies."_

_I raised an eyebrow " And drinking yourself into oblivion's not?" _

" _Fuck off, Bella" He spat. "Don't get all high and mighty on me. My mom was fucking murdered. Did you forget that?"_

_Moisture started to pool in my eyes and I glanced up at the ceiling, telling myself not to cry, but I couldn't help the few stray tears that flicked out and I rubbed them away furiously with my shirt sleeve._

_Edward wrenched my hand way from my face, his expression suddenly softening. "Hey sorry. I know you're trying to help... but I'm fine Bella. Just forget about me."_

_I burst into tears, no longer capable of holding them back and buried my face into the crook of his shoulder. He patted my hair gently, then began to stroke it downwards in a soothing motion. If only something as simple as that could heal his shattered heart._

_When I'd finished, I sniffed loudly. "Sorry, I've, I've got n,nothing to cry about. Don't mind me. I'm always here for you Edward. I promise."_

_He took another drink out of the bottle._

" _Where are we going," I shouted._

" _You'll see," he laughed back at me. If he laughed I'd follow him anywhere. Christmas was a sad occasion for him and he passed out not long after five o clock. I didn't tell Renee or Charlie that he was in my room. They didn't want me seeing Edward anymore. He turned up at school sporadically, usually just to make trouble... but I thought it was progress. A little goes a long way, as they say._

_I grabbed his hand as he hurtled up the steps of a large stone house. Music was thumping from the inside, lights flickering sporadically, a multicoloured rainbow._

" _Where are we?" I asked._

"_Tanya's." I didn't know who Tanya was. I'd never seen her at least. But I knew she was a sophomore in high school. She wasn't really known for her discreetness._

" _Why are we here?" He knocked on the door and just grinned back at me._

_Tanya, I assume opened the door, all skin, a leggy blonde with beaming blue eyes. "Edward", she smiled euphorically. "You came!" She reached forward and kissed his cheek and he stepped into the house still smiling. It was enough. Around us there were couples going at it on the couch, against the walls, girls dancing in ways I couldn't imagine myself doing, boys cheering them on._

_Tanya whispered something in Edward's ear and he nodded, beckoning me to follow him. We entered a half closed room with brown leather couches and mahogany darkened walls. Expensive. There were several boys, of about seventeen, I'd say, lying sprawled on the ground and couches. On the table there was white powder, arranged in lines. I stepped back in shock as the door behind me closed. Edward high fived one of the guys sitting on the couches and leaned forward over the table, gesturing at it with excitement. In the light I could see his pupils were slightly dilated. He was high. I almost chocked on my own breath. I never even thought it possible that he'd switched to drugs over the last possible months no matter how hard he found it._

"_We have to go, Edward," I said calmly, aware that people were watching us._

_He rolled his eyes and looked at the guys. "That's Bella for you. Always the angel."_

" _Please." I begged. "I want to go home."_

_He stared stonily at me, gritting his teeth and looking down at the table again. "Then just go home Bella."_

" _You have to come too."_

_He sighed and scratched the back of his head, still staring at the cocaine. "Just give me a bag," he sighed. A guy with thick black hair hands him over a small see through bag, and he swapped it for a pile of green bills. I didn't even look at him as we left the party._

_When we reached my house I said, " Give it to me." His high was wearing off now, and he just looked plain annoyed. "No."_

"_Edward, do you realise what you're doing to yourself? Drinking? Drugs? Would you wake the fuck up!" Do you think your mom would be proud to see you now?"_

_He clenched his fists and came right up to me face. "Don't you dare speak about my fucking mother", he growls." Don't you fucking dare, or I swear to god, I won't be responsible for what I do to you."_

_My heart thumped. Who knew. Who would have ever expected that I might become afraid of Edward. Even for a moment." Edward."I sigh. "Just... Give me the drugs. Or I swear, I will tell Charlie. And Carlisle. You need help... help that neither I or Emmett or even Rose can give you..."_

_He took a step back, obviously surprised, his mouth pursed in anger "You wouldn't tell Charlie on me. I know you wouldn't."_

_I paused for a second. "Watch me." I turned into the driveway to my house, and just before I reached the door, something small hit me square in the back of the head. I bent down and picked the bag up, before Edward's arms wrap around me from behind. " Don't leave me", he pleaded. "Bella?"_

"_Don't worry Edward." I lowered my head and squeezed his hands back. "I'm here."_

_(End flashback)_

_**EPOV.**_

I was being relatively nice to Bella... and it didn't feel that strange. I swear, I nearly fucking screamed like a ten year old girl when she fell. The horror I always felt ... never really left, I guess. Who knew? When she fell again though it was just plain funny, I wanted to laugh but felt that wasn't the best idea. I couldn't believe someone could be that clumsy. She looked so miffed, sitting there with her hair and clothes askew that my hand almost instinctively immersed itself in that waterfall of chocolate. She tried to walk. Idiot. I didn't have a choice, as I told her, I had to pick her up. She was warm, but struggling in my arms. Just as she calmed down, accepted that I was going to help her who should come along? Rose. It seemed that she had same effect on me in that moment, that she had on Bella. We realised, what exactly we were doing. We were acting, in a way, like we cared about each other, something we'd both avoided for the last few years. We didn't interact, we didn't look at each other, speak to each other, except for the 13th of September. That was the one allowance. The way that she's been acting... not good. Too friendly. I won't put her through my shit again... but... I have to admit... my being mean to Bella... it isn't only for her benefit, it's for mine. I don't want to be surrounded by her innocence... it hurts... because I know she wants me to be that guy I was so many years ago. And that can't happen. It just makes me disappointed. All the time.

Rose tells me to put " Bellie Wellie" down. Bitch. Who does she think she is to order me around? But Bella backs her up, with a "Let me go." It's like friday when she wouldn't look at me... it just kills me. "Let me go." There's more than one meaning behind that. FUCK! I'm confused. I want her... but I don't, I can't have her but I need her. Just fuck it all to hell. I turn around, and half leap, half run across the road to my house. I slam the door behind me, Rosalie still calling my name.

" Excuse me? What does "let me go" mean to you?" Bella glares at me.

I'm sort of surprised to still see her there. Did I really just flip and take off with her in my arms? I roll my eyes and walk her into my sitting room, dropping her onto the couch roughly. She bounces up and down for a second before settling down. I wander across the oak wood floor to the large dark cabinet and fling open the glass doors, taking out a two glasses and bottle of JD, always my drink of choice. There are stains on the white walls from my youth, a splash of beer here, a dash of Wicked there. Carlisle left them there on purpose I think. I sit in the armchair across from her and she stares at me in horror, her mouth trembling.

" You're... you're not..?" she asks.

I suck in one side of my cheek from annoyance. "No. I've been clean for years Bella. It's just habit when I'm pissed. There's only coke in it see?" I hold the bottle up to the light, showing the darker colour.

She lets out a breath of relief and then proceeds to stare at me. I glance at my drink then look back at her. "You want some?"

She hesitates for a moment then beams out a massive smile. My jaw drops because I haven't seen that for a while. Sometimes I see it from afar but never, never is it directed at me. She swings her body around and settles her feet on the ground, whimpering loudly from the pain of collision. I pour her a glass and start to get up and bring it over to her. Instead she stands up on one leg and hops across to me on one leg. She looks like an absolute fool. I smile at her with a crooked grin, the one I always used to use on her, bursting into laughter as she once more trips over her own feet. She grumbles, getting to her feet, before taking the glass. Our eyes meet, green colliding with brown, hardness meeting sweetness, lies crushing honesty. Bella. _Fuck._

_**I'm going to introduce Jasper in the next chapter... I think... I'm not sure if it's going to be all A/J, though....hehehe. And Jacob will come eventually too...**_

_**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! I'll post the next chapter when I have... 4/5 reviews that's all I want... you can do that right?**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello dear people of the world. Here is chapter 7! I do apologise for it being so darn late but fortunately I have an excuse. While I was reading all your lovely reviews ( thank you so much btw), I turned my lovely laptop slightly to the left and the screen snapped in half. I'd had it three weeks. Yes. It was a sad occasion. I cried. It's getting fixed now at least. On a happier note though, I got an offer from a uni in England to study English and creative writing next year! **

**Anyways more on the story yeah? Ha. I know there's not much progression on the ExB front here, but it's important for their history. The flashbacks will stop in the next chapter which is the ' Big Reveal.' OOOH what did he do? Please enjoy and review review review!!!!!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing twilight and all it's characters are Stephenie's. But cursing Edward is mine.**

**Oh, and if you're reading, Hi Hannah!**

EPOV

"Bella," I start, crinkling my brows, " I".. I the door bangs shut in the hall beyond us. Esme clatters out of the kitchen with a joyous " You're home." There's some mumblings between them, probably something to do with my behavior towards her today, and Carlisle lets out a tumultuous "He did what?!"

He barges into the room that Bella and I are in, one of two sitting rooms in the house, his normally reserved facial expression, furious. Carlisle looks good for his age, there's no denying that. Wind swept blonde hair, almost completely smooth, clear skin and peaceful blue eyes. If only he had the soul to match. The first time Bella came over… she blushed when she saw him. She quickly learned that he was no one to admire.

The two forever stone cold rocks on each side of his face dart between Bella and I and her doe eyes gawp at him.

"Carlisle," she limps up, " Hey."

"Bella", he smiles tentatively. " To what do we owe this pleasure? It has been a while."

Esme steps into the room, a frantic look on her face. She stops when she sees Bella and exclaims " My dear. It's been so long." That's just a little annoying now… I mean Bella and I weren't even fucking friends when Carlisle and her got married.

I step up hooking an arm through Bella's and wrapping it around her back. She physically blanches, not that I blame her. "You won't last long on one foot Bella-dear," I murmur.

Carlisle's eyes narrow for a moment but his look changes so quickly, I doubt Bella even saw it.

"You hurt your foot or something Bella?"

"Yup," she smacks her lips together. "Think you can help Doc?"

I hide a grin. Carlisle hates being addressed as Doc. It's one of my less satanic language driven insults and one that's proved to always drive him thoroughly over the edge.

"Of course, Bella-_dear_", he emphasis. "I'd love to. Edward, I think I can handle it from here. Why don't you go see Rose or something."

Carlisle takes Bella from me. She turns away completely so I can no longer see her face and I stare at her for a moment longer. "Sure", I say. "I'll go see Rose."

" What the fuck, Edward?" She hurls a book at me as I enter her room and the pages flutter in mid air before landing it lands in front of me. I didn't know she owned any books. Hell, I didn't even know she could fucking read. She's sitting on her bed, golden hair flowing down her back. The walls are pale pink and pictures of her are everywhere. Some I'm in. Some her brother Jasper occupies. The bedcover she has wrapped around her is silk and the palest of whites. Sitting there with that hair and those eyes... She looks just like the angel I first thought her to be.

"It was nothing Rose."

"It's never nothing when Bella Swan is involved. You're _my_ boyfriend Edward"

" Yeah? That's why you've been spending so much time with Emmett lately?"

" Oh, for gods sake," she snaps. "It's always been like this between us, it works. Just deal okay?"

I sigh. " Alright, Rose. I'll _deal_." She presses her lips to mine.

BPOV

Charlie is not going to be happy I broke my ankle. Just a small break, true but a break nonetheless. Carlisle sent me across the road with a bottle of painkillers and a small cast. It always weirded me out that he had like a mini hospital in his house, but he'd actually started off more or less as a house doctor and then got more and more into the hospital side of things. I like to think he was a bit more warm back then. He was obviously stunned to see Edward and I together but he didn't ask. Thankfully. I don't think I could have explained it myself, to be honest.

Esme, helps me to my door so I can grab the crutches that always sit outside the house. Just in case then kisses my cheek swiftly before telling me to come over anytime. Yeah. That's gonna happen.

I open the door and sigh stepping( or rather hoping) into my house. "Hey!" a voice shouts. I look over my shoulder not having the energy to turn back round. All I have to say is voice. You have one fine body attached to you. His face is pale, like everyone in Forks seems to be, his hair blonde and tussled with a slight curl. He's staring intently at me his mouth curved up in a wry and…. I'm blushing. Crap, I am so freaking blushing.

"Uh hi," I say from the rather peculiar position I have twisted myself into.

He leaps up beside me, onto the porch.

"I'm Jasper" he extends his hand. His voice has a slight southern twang that brings a smile though not quite as disarming as his, to my face

" Bella" I take his hand, hopping around.

He eyes the house. "You one of Rose's friends or something?" And he's dead to me.

I lower my smile. " No. No, not really."

He brings his hand up to his mouth and bites softly on the index finger. "Then, can I ask why you're just walking into her house? Or rather… trying to?

Have I gone mad? This is my house right? I didn't injure my head aswell as my foot did I? I spot the shrubs that Charlie hates but mom loves on either side of the doorway. Yeah my house. Certainly not hers, excuse the animosity.

" Um. Sorry. Rosalie's house is that a way" I gesture.

"Oh God. Sorry. I really thought...."

" S'alright", I wave my hand moving to back further into the house of warmth.

" I'm new by the way" he offers, stepping forward to match me.

I figured. Alice, who knows everything about this town before I do even though I live here and she lives in way on the outskirts, would have told me about him. I nod. " Where did you move from," I ask politely.

"Texas", he replies grinning. "I'm moving in with my dad, for a while. Mom needs to... have a break." His eyes drop at this, and I decide not to press the poor guy I've just met for more info instead asking him if his dad's anyone I know. Of course I know. Everyone here knows everyone.

" I'd say so. It's Robert Hale?"

I lean back, surveying him. " You're Rosalie's brother?" But he seems so... not demon like. How can the she- devil have a brother?

" Twin, actually. Though we haven't seen each other much. Actually she text me and told me not to come till later... busy with... Edward or something. But screw her anyway, I've no idea where I'm supposed to go in this town." He earns a few extra bonus points there.  
I hesitate. "Do you... want come in? My parents won't be back till later… so I can heat up some lasagna or something… You hungry?"

"Starving", he smiles once more. " Let me help you."

( _flashback)_

_" Hey", I plopped down on the couch next to Edward. " Animate yourself a little more. We're free for the summer," I punched his arm._

_" Yeah come on, Eddie boy, give us a smile", Emmett demanded._

_Edward rolled his eyes at our efforts. I tried not to let that hurt me anymore, it was really all he seemed to do lately. An eyeroll here. Snarky comeback there. Sometimes, nice Edward would pop out with a gleaming crooked grin, or burst into my house with an excited look on his face, but those days were getting far and few between. He'd just turned 16 last week, and while he did let Em, me and Rose come over, it was more, five minuets of cake, the rest spent getting wasted in the corner. Rose had her hands__** all**__ over him __**all **__night. I admit, I was jealous as hell... I'd come to a very simple and very easy reason as to why I could never let Edward stray to far from my thoughts, why every single swig, shout and roar dug so deeply into me. I loved him. Not a child's love for a TV show, or a teen crush on an actor. I was just completely in love with him. _

"_Hi", Rose entered, swiftly dismissing Emmett and I. I'd come to a realization about Rose too. She wasn't very nice. Edward had always said so... if only he thought the same now. As she comes in he peaked up a lazy smile, eyes raking over the tiny skirt she had on. My finger nails dug into my thigh. _

_" You wanna watch a movie or something then?" I asked._

"_That's so boring Bella", Rose commented. "Isn't it Edward?" she pouted at him._

_" Leave her alone," he snapped. Ha-ha. " There's nothing else to do in this fucking town, anyway."_

_Emmett chose Mission Impossible 2. Not because he's a fan of Tom Cruise or anything. I think he just liked to sing the theme tune, and we settled down, Rose and Emmett on the floor, me and Edward on the couch. He threw an arm over my shoulder and pulled me in close, so my head rested on his shoulder. I loved him._

_" Drink", he offered me. I declined as usual. He swallowed a mouthful. _

_An hour into the movie, Edward announced he wanted popcorn and headed just a little unsteadily into the kitchen. A few minutes later, Rose followed. Emmett looked at me when they didn't come back with one quirked eyebrow. _

_'I'll check."_

_I popped up and started to sing that freaking song to myself. I drew open the two wide doors. "Hey Ed... what are you?" I stopped. Rosalie was sitting on one of the pristine counters, Edward between her legs, kissing her roughly, his hands fisted in her hair. Time stopped. My world stopped. I gasped, and they both tore away from each other, whipping their heads towards me._

_" S, sorry," I stuttered. I ran back into the sitting room, paused when Emmett stood up, his eyes crinkled in concern, then kept on running out of the house, onto the road. I didn't stop till I was safely locked in my bedroom. Mom shouted up at me, but her face was nothing more than blur, a blip on my radar. All I could see was his hands, his mouth on hers._

_I threw myself onto my bed, burying my face in my pillow. Downstairs I could here someone kicking the door, beating it furiously. I got up and closed the window. I didn't want to see him. Mom told him to go away. That he could come back when he was sober. If he ever actually was sober. Too right mother. It had been a year and I couldn't do anything for him. He needed to go to rehab. He needed help. He needed more than me. I'd spent... so much time trying so, so hard, my grades had slipped, my parents were constantly annoyed with me. It was just... too much. I loved him... but I couldn't deal. I needed a break. Just a small break. My phone rang._

_" Hello?"_

_" Bella", he sounded frantic. And drunk. " Look, I'm sorry, okay. You have to let me explain. Why'd you run away so quick?"_

_" It doesn't matter."_

_" Why do you sound like that?"_

_" Like what?"_

_" Like... emotionless or some shit?"_

_" I..." I squeezed my eyes shut." I need a break Edward."_

_" Well that's good," he snorted. " It's summer."_

_" No. Edward. I need a break... I need a break from you." I could barely get the words out. I was going to hurt him. But just this once, I was going to think about myself. Just once. _

_He said nothing for a moment. " From me huh?" He chuckled darkly. _

_" Edward", I sighed. "Don't sound like that. Just a little while, okay? I just need to think."_

_" You promised.," The line went dead. I know I promised. I promised I wouldn't leave. But ... promises are made to be broken. I just needed a few days for myself. Maybe a couple more to mend my broken heart._

_The phone rang once again, waking me up, from a deep and heavy slumber. " Edward," I sighed. " This…"_

"_Bella?" I sat up._

"_Emmett? What time is it?",I yawned._

" _It's late. Look you have to come to the hospital. It's Edward." Fear gripped me around the hearts, twisting and turning like a snake. I dropped the phone. I screamed into the night. _

_Twenty minute later. I rushed into the emergency room, my dressing gown swinging around me. Emmett was sitting with his head in his hands on a white seat. He stood up when he heard the sound of approaching footsteps._

" _What happened?" I asked, throwing my arms around his neck as the scent of disinfectant invaded me senses._

_I admit, I was terrified he'd attempted suicide or something. I would have been shattered if those were the words that came out of Emmett's mouth. But they weren't. But they were almost, almost just as bad. " He overdosed."_

_Both dad and Emmett took turns holding me. I cried. A lot. By then end of the night, I think I'd cried enough tears to fill the entire Atlantic five times over. I think maybe Emmett did too. Dad was stoic. He hadn't a clue what he was supposed to do._

_When the morning arrived, Carlisle, who had of course been treating Edward, came out. His face was hard as ever, showing no emotion. But in his eyes I could see the fear over what his son had done. " You can see him now," he said. I jumped up, running. _

_As I passed Carlisle I said "You should have known." And then I kept on running. He was awake, sitting in the bed, in a hospital robe, gazing out the window. As I came in, he smiled, half smiled really, at me._

_It took a moment but only a moment. I marched to him, raising a hand and slapped him square across the cheek. He blinked in shock. " Bella!"_

"_You stupid__** freaking**__ idiot! What the hell were you thinking? You overdosed, do you have any idea!" I stopped hitting him and decided to hug him._

" _I'm sorry," he said simply. I pulled away. _

" _Sorry?" I sobbed, realizing I was suddenly crying again. " That's not good enough Edward. I love you."_

_He tugged on my hair. "I love you too, Hella."_

"_No", I thumped his chest, closing my eyes. " I __**love **__you."_

_There was silence. Not entirely unexpected. " Bella… I… I."_

"_It's alright you don't have to say anything. Just thought I'd tell you…"_

"_Bella", he took my face in his hands. " Stop. I'm just… surprised. That's all. I'm…. honored… that you feel that way about me… but…"_

"_You don't feel that way about me. That's… that's alright. I know you like Rosalie."_

" _Rosalie? Please, I was drunk Bella."_

"_As usual."_

_He deserved that. Emmett barged in then, after giving us the few minutes we so desperately needed._

" _You stupid asshole. What is wrong with you? I'd hit you if Bella hadn't already done it. Explain. Now."_

_He looked back at me. "I was just upset. I had some… coke hanging around… drank too much. I didn't mean to. Okay? I just made a mistake."_

"_A mistake? A mistake is forgetting you homework. A mistake is forgetting to put on underwear. A mistake is not nearly killing yourself," Emmett replied sharply. _

"_You need proper help Edward" I cut in, echoing my earlier thoughts._

"_I agree", Carlisle interjected._

_Edward's rather amiable mood snapped. "You, fuck of. I don't need you."_

" _He's right, Edward." I lowered my eyes. "You need … rehab or something or next time, you might not wake up."_

"_You're on his side," he sneered sitting up further in the pillow, pressing away from me. "After what you just told me?"_

_Emmett's ears perked. "What did you tell him?" Such a freaking gossip._

"_It's because of what I just told you that I want you to go Edward." I ignored Emmett. "You have to go to rehab. I'm begging you. I'm just so sad for you all the time, please. It's summer. No one will ever know. But you can't and we can't," I gesture, "go on like this. You…"_

"_Fine."_

_My mouth dropped a little. "You will? "_

"_Yeah. If it's that you really want. I'll go for you. And when I come back, I'll give you my answer."_

_( end flashback)_

I shake my head.

" You zoned out", Jasper says, waving a hand in front of my eyes.

"Sorry", I smile sheepishly. God am I rude? I think I'm rude.

"Sorry", I repeat. " Lasagna, yeah?

I yawn stepping out of my truck. Charlie bought it for me last year. Free of course but still…. I love it. It fits me perfectly. As soon as I enter the parking lot, I'm greeted to the sight of Edward and Rose full on making out against his volve. Lovely. That's just what makes me want to keep my breakfast down.

Alice steps up to walk with me.

"Yo yo yo!" she harps loudly.

"You can't pull that off sweetheart."

" Who you callin sweetheart, mofo?"

I laugh loudly, throwing my head back and mess up her short hair.

Another blonde head steps out from behind the oh so beautiful scene." Bella", he raises a hand.

Rose unlocks herself from Edward and glares at me, then Jasper. She makes a very indiscreet show of telling him not to talk to me. Point blank. Ever. He rolls his eyes and comes up beside me and Alice.

" Hey", he extends a hand to her as he did to me last night. "Jasper."

"Alice", she drools.

He turns back to me. "Care to show me around Bella?"

" Absolutely", both Alice and I answer.

We bump shoulders as we all walk in together I look behind me, of course trying to find Edward he's just disappeared.

**So… I got 9 reviews for the last chapter… do you think I could get ten for this? I mean I'm not going to go "I've got no reviews so no one gets to read anymore, damn you all to hell" or anything but still. It would be really nice hahahahaha.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello people of the world. I know it's been oh so long since my last update and I do apologise. I had these THINGS called the mocks which are designed to suck out a young persons soul and send it into hell to be devoured by tiny demons. Basically they were " mocks" of my real MASSIVE exams. Hence lots of study Sorry! So here is the FIRST chapter in kind of telling the full back story of what happened to Bella and Edward. It was way too long to keep as one chapter but I should have the next part up tomorrow I promise. I really hope you like it. The next chap is more… eventful. This is just a lead up to it. Anyhoos have a great day/week/ year/ LIFE!**

**Disclaimer : I may dream of twilight. I may distort it. I may want Edward Cullen. But I do not own ANY of it.**

_**BPOV- Freshman year.**_

I sat by the phone, my finger nails tapping against my dresser. Ring. Ring, DAMN YOU! I tore my eyes away from the phone to stare at the volvo across the road. Edward got back late last night. His car pulled in around 2am, its lights blinding me through the window. He'd been gone nearly two and a half months. Summer was over. School started a week before, and I kind of half expected him to just show up put of the blue like, "Hey everyone. I'm back and stuff…" I mean I'd always imagined us starting high school together but instead it was me and sometimes me and Emmett… but no Edward.

And he still hadn't called. It'd been twelve hours and he hadn't called. We talked a smidge over summer. Like maybe once a week, but just about how he was doing, how I was doing, summer, TV. Nothing about his revelation of love or rather lack there of. I couldn't help but feel that the 'no phone call' was a bad sign. Or maybe I was just being presumptuously clingy.

The phone rang.

" Hello?"

" Bella." His voice was deeper, changed over the summer, smoother. Rougher. Lovelier. Velvet- like, even.

" Hi! You're home! How are you?"

There was a pause. A pause that set my heart a racing, and my breathing started to quicken. "Do you want to come over ?" he asked.

" Do you want me to come over?"

He chuckled softly.

" I'll see you in a few Isabella."

Isabella. What was that crap?

I was knocking on his door within seventy seconds. I counted. Neither Carlisle nor Edward answered the door. Instead it was youngish woman with masses of caramel hair and smiling brown eyes.

"Isabella?" She opened the door wide so I could step inside. I stamped my feet on the carpet eyeing her warily. A new housekeeper maybe?

"I'm Esme", she said holding out her hand. "Carlisle's wife. It's so nice to meet you. I …"

"You're Carlisle's _wife_", I asked, my eyes widening. "Oh god, does Edward know, where is he?" This was bad oh so bad. Sure this woman with the smiling face looked nice but it didn't matter. Edward would not be happy. Not happy at all.

"Shush, Isabella. I know." His arms came around me and he hugged me from behind, snuffling his nose into my hair. I grinned, swiveling round and threw my arms around his neck.

"I missed you!"

"I'm sure you did", he winked.

I grabbed his hand, leading him towards the sitting room, giving Esme a half questioning smile. I always loved this room with its wide, airy space and dark green wallpaper. It was like something out of a really old movie. I pushed him onto the couch.

"Tell me everything. How are you?"

He lounged back, perfectly relaxed, throwing an arm over his head.

" Absolutely fantastic." I sat down beside him.

" Edward your dad got married, how can you be fantastic?"

"He got married during the summer, Bella. I've had some time to process. Fuck him. He doesn't matter." I pulled back.

I tried not to look hurt. Edward didn't have to tell me… but… why didn't he? He always told me… I was being selfish. It didn't matter how I felt.

" Don't look like that." He rolled his eyes. "I didn't tell anyone. It was really small, and I didn't go. No one really knows about it, despite the size of this fucking town. That's all. Now come here give me another hug."

I tipped my head to one side and snuggled in under his arm. " You called Emmett yet?"

"Later", he motioned. "I gots to spend some time with my Bella."

I didn't dare get my hopes up. He hadn't brought up the answer to that freaking burning question, and neither had I. Maybe he just wanted to spend normal time with me before he told me that he didn't love me. Great.

"You looking forward to starting highs school?" I punched him tentatively on the shoulder. "Now that you're all … clean. You are clean right?"

"Yup. Going on two months now. I think the extra long stay in rehab did me some good. I still have to go to meetings and stuff though."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

He waved a hand. "I'll be okay, Hella. How exactly is highs school anyway?"

"Same as middle school. Different teachers. Different classes. Different people, you know."

"I'm looking forward to it. And Monday, birthday girl," he flashed his teeth. " Sweet sixteen. How grown up you are."

I laughed loudly. I was just like old times, no cleaning up his mess, no trying to hold back the tears, because he wouldn't wake up, no gagging at the smell of smoke and alcohol. Just Edward and Bella. Was it bad to be happy?

"What you gonna do?"

I shrugged. "Nothing much, I thought you and me could just do what we ways did."

"Aw, Isabella, come on don't be so fucking boring. Have a goddamn part or something?"

"Stop calling me that", I snapped.

He blinked. " Sorry. Bella."

Yet another silence loomed over us.

"So…"

"So..."

We both laughed under our breath.

"It's a little awkward isn't it?" He started.

"Edward, mother freaking Cullen, where the hell are you?" Emmett's voice boomed from the hall. His feet thumped loudly, even on the carpet, and he burst through the door. Like Edward, the summer had changed Emmett. Sure, he was tall before. And big. But now he was downright huge and I could barely wrap my arms around him anymore. His curls bounced atop his head as he entered the room.

"Eddie my man. You're sober. Finally! Give your bro a hug."

Edward stood up chuckling. "You're not my bro Emmett. But it is nice to see you."

"My god" he shot me a horrified look. "He's polite too!"

Edward flicked his forehead, not daring to attack the monster physique.

"Aww. You scared lanky weakling, come here." He practically lifted Edward off the ground, squeezing him tight.

" Hi Edward." Rosalie came round the corner. I gritted my teeth. I really had started to dislike that girl. We'd barely spoken since school started as she flittered off to join a new group. She still talked to Emmett though because obviously, he was going to make the foot ball team. I mean like really obviously.

" Hi, Rose" Edward smiled. She slid up to him and pulled his hair down to hug him. He glanced at me over her shoulder and rolled his eyes up into his head. I threw my head back and laughed.

" Something funny, Bella", she glared.

" Nope," I grinned. Edward grinned back. Emmett looked between the two of us. "Rose maybe we should give them a minute. They're having a moment." I shook my head not daring to look in Edward's direction. He hadn't given me an answer yet.

EPOV.

I hadn't given Bella an answer yet, and I goddamn well knew it. But the fact was… I hadn't actually got an answer. My summer had been filled with people I didn't know and didn't care to know, and fucking god-awful withdrawals and basically pure misery. The rehab centre that Carlisle forced me into was out on the middle of fucking nowhere in the countryside. The house was basically a large white stone hospital with a load of other fucked up people shoved in rooms. It was okay, for the most part, not that I enjoyed it or anything. But Bella was right. I needed to change. The first couple of weeks consisted of me swearing at the nurse and throwing up. Great fun all around. And then my oh so fucking perfect father decided to pay me a visit to tell me that a little over a year since my mother had died, he was getting married. And he wanted me to be best man. What a fucking joke. Ridiculous. As if I would even think of it. As if I would ever go near that man. I hadn't seen him cry once since mom died. And he was never home when she was alive. He was the fucking joke. I told Bella I was okay with it. I lied.

Bella glanced at her watch, scratching the back of her head. Everyone changed this summer. And I missed it. Emmett. Rose. And Bella. Her hair was longer but thicker. And she had fucking curves. CURVES. I couldn't get over it. I loved Bella, without a doubt, but I didn't know if I was in love with her. I didn't know what being on love was or meant. When I saw her, I felt fucking elated and surprisingly nervous. I called her _Isabella_ for fuck sake, trying to be all cool or something. What the fuck was with that like?

" Ed, I gotta go. Charlie's looking for me." She paused. " I'll sneak back over later though."

" Rebellious."

Bella jumped up out of her seat, bent down swiftly and kissed me on top of my head. She walked out of the room waving a hand behind her back. And ,I Edward mother fucking Cullen, blushed. Emmett of course noticed and leaned over, saying "You're almost as red as an embarrassed Bella." He clapped me on the back. "Have you answered her yet?"

I sighed. " No."

" Dude. You suck."

"I think you should reject her Edward."

I turn towards Rosalie, raising an eyebrow. "You do?" She leaned forward so I could if I wanted but I so don't want to, get a good look down her top. Memories of her swarming up to me and me kissing her flashed through my memory. I shuddered.

Emmett snorted. " You would."

She pouted. " I mean Edward. You're not… good for Bella. I know you think you're all better and stuff but… how long s that going to last?"

Emmett gawped and I laughed. " That's stupid, how can you… I mean come on right Emmett?"

He looked down at his feet. " I gotta say man. I knew it before you did, how she felt. If you had done nothing when she confessed, and… I dunno tried to get together with her or something, I'll admit, I would have kept you away from her. That person, who you were," he shook his head." Not good. Not good for Bella, much as I hate to agree with Rosalie, though she's obviously saying it for her own gain, wink wink."

I started." You would have kept me away from Bella?"

He shrugged. " You were dangerous, man. You would have hurt her. You did hurt her." He poked me. "Don't do it again. If you're not better. Don't do it. Don't hurt her. Because I swear to god, I'M BIG. And I'll mess you up. Don't risk it. Not until you're sure."

I stood up. I can't believe you're both saying this. "I… I wouldn't hurt Bella."

" You _did_ hurt Bella," Emmett urged. "You nearly died Edward, and I know I'm being scarily serious right now, but I don't want t see her messed up in all that crap again. I want you to be together… but for the better… not for worse."

I couldn't settle down. I had pulled the curtains in an attempt to get some goddamn rest but still, light streamed in and I was still thinking over what Emmett and Rose had said. I knew why Rose had said it. But Emmett? I'd never seen him so serious. Did I love Bella? If I did, could I be with her… would I just destroy her? I'd never really thought back over how she acted last year. Now that I could coherently think….images came scattering through, Bella crying, Bella stroking my face, Bella, weaving her hands into my hair to hold me when I was upset, Bella's fearful eyes as I stumbled in a drug induced high. I stamped up the stairs my worry and frustration getting the better of me. I was careful not to let the floorboards creak. Gently I opened the wardrobe door in my room and reached my hand back into it, pulling out a bottle I'd stashed not three months a go. I opened it and took a long drink.

At twelve, the next day the doorbell rang. I stepped outside into the shining morning sunlight, smiling and gripping the frame of the door.

I opened my arms, "Bella", I said loudly, then winced at the noise.

She stared at me with her mouth in a straight line, chewing on the insides of her cheeks.

" Aw" I groaned, "Don't look like that."

She shook he r head, " Like what Edward?"

" All disappointed and shit", I gestured to her eyes filled with yet unshed tears.

" I'm not disappointed Edward. I'm just …sad." She pushed me aside, then turned back to face me. "You've been back a day? A_ day_ ! You're already completely drunk, Edward!"

" I'm not drunk… I'm hungover. And maybe just a little drunk."

I walked unsteadily over to her and collapsed onto her body. "Sorry Bella." She brought her hand up to hook it in my hair. She began to stroke it. "I wish it wasn't like this Edward."

I pulled back and really looked at her face. She was right she wasn't disappointed… just absolutely miserable. Just like Emmett said. I didn't make Bella happy.

" Look, maybe you should just go."

She shook her head again. "I haven't seen you in three months Ed, I'll take you. Drunk and all." She smiled, but it didn't meet her eyes. Not even a little bit. Bella gripped my hand and led my over to the leather couch throwing her legs across me.

"I think Charlie's getting me a car tomorrow," she grinned. " I can feel it."

I tried to stay focused on what she was saying but my head was messed up and more than a little confused.

"Ah yes. Birthday girl. What would you like from me?"

A little spark flashed in her eye and she leaned forward. "Try and guess what I want Edward."

I gulped and she threw back her head, laughing richly her dark waterfall of hair cascading back over her neck. Beautiful.

"I may not like you much right now Edward, but I'm never going to give up on you. You're my best friend, so deal with it."

I attempted a smile. " Oh, you silly ragamuffin." We were both lying to ourselves, smiling and laughing like nothing was wrong but there was a big motherfucking elephant in the room. Three or four motherfucking elephants in the room really. She loved me. I wasn't sure. I made her unhappy… yet she loved me.

Fuck.

" I'll see you tomorrow at school then?"

I put out a hand and rested it on her cheek. "Of course you will Bella." She blushed all the way down to her toes then… I think she fucking curtsied.

" Did I just curtsey," she murmured to herself, then looked up at my face. "See you."

She ran across the road and I waited till she was safely inside before grabbing the crystal vase off the pristine oak table in the hall and throwing it with all my heart into the wall. It splintered into what seemed like a thousand pieces. I dropped to the floor putting my head in my hands. She said she wasn't going to give up on me. I can't say that didn't fucking warm my heart. I loved Bella, even if I didn't know if I was _in_ love with her. Did I want her to spend her entire life trying to fix me? I'd just fucking proved that I couldn't get better fast enough. Not fast enough for her. I was bad for her, without any fucking shadow of a doubt.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I looked up…and up. Rosalie legs." I can see your knickers Rose."

"That's the point Edward", she rolled her eyes. "Get up." Now normally I'd never do what Rose told me to but I wasn't exactly in the greatest frame of mind as I was still a little drunk and more than a little befuddled.

"What do you want?" I sighed.

"I saw Bella leave", she said, making her way into my kitchen. I followed her. She started to rummage in my extraordinary large fridge, before drawing out a bar of chocolate. She tossed it to me. "Eat." I broke off a square, still wary of her. It could be poisoned. I sit down at the white marble counter top, and she does the same.

" What's wrong?"

"Bella."

" I don't know what you see in that girl."

" You used to be friends Rose. You still kind of are. Even if you don't like her. "

"I _don't_ like her," she shrugged.

I frowned. " Yet you still kind of warned me off her yesterday."

She sat down. " I don't like Bella, but I still don't want her to have to go through everything. She's too soft."

" Bella's the strongest girl I know."

Rose popped her lips and leaned forward. " She's had to be."

Yet again I dropped my face in my hands. " I don't know what I should do. I can't give her up, Rose. I need her."

" You can always have me," she winked and despite myself, I laughed.

She slapped the table and blew on a lock of her golden mane that had fallen over her face. She quirked up the corners of her mouth " I'm serious though. My parents have been at me for years to get with you Edward, And… I like you. You should consider it."

I gawped and spluttered. " Rose… I don't…"

" You want to keep Bella safe right" she air quoted. " Make sure she stays all nice and cuddly happy?"

I nodded. " Well, I have away this could work for both of us."

When she first told me the plan I completely rejected it. "I'm not going to humiliate Bella like that. I'm not going to hurt her Rose and you can't make me. Absolutely not."

She rested her cheek in her hand , rolling her eyes in frustration. " Fine Edward. I'm not going to push you into it or anything."

Bella's face flashed through my mind, her face from this morning, so lost, so helpless. She tried oh she tried so hard, but I knew I had to let her go. To keep her safe I'd have to do exactly what I did to that vase. I'd have to shatter her.

**And by the way I got 18 FREAKING BEAUTIFUL reviews for that last chapter 18! How is that possible. You are all seriously amazing. Fan-freaking tastic people. **

**Review review REVIEW!!!!!**


	9. Chapter 8 part 2

**Chapter 8**

**Hi peoples! So this is a BIG chapter… not in length because I cut it in half… but you know … 'revelation' and all. And I gotta tell you. I'm freaking terrified. Like really stark terrified. I mean there's this whole ' what he did to me was so bad' thing building… I'm worried its not actually that bad. I had loads of ideas ( Hannah if your reading you know what I'm talking about', but I had to be, you know realistic it. It couldn't be anything like… he shot her dad with a paintball gun and killed him or like… he choked her in her sleep with hot chocolate sauce ( which I'm now eating/drinking. YUM).**

**I have more mocks next week, so it will have to be after that when I update, but I'll try as soon as possible. Without further adieu… here you go. I hope you like it, really I do. And please review. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or anything involving it. Cry me out is however mine so if you use it, I'll go batshit crazy on you. I'm kidding. **

**BPOV **

" Happy birthday Bells!" Charlie announced to me as I descended the stairs.

" Oh, you look beautiful." Renee said a splashing mess from painting, her new flavor of the month. The two of them greeted me with bursting smiles at the bottom.

I groaned, tugging on my brown hoodie, " I look the same as I have every other single day mom. Really. Dramatic much?" I took the piece of toast off the plate Charlie was holding and bit softly into it. He coughed loudly

"I know I'm late, okay?" I muffled through the bread and sweet melting butter.

"Yeah," Charlie winked. "But lucky you, you have something to get you there in time." My eyes widened.

"Oh no freaking way." I'd guessed, I'd joked, I'd never thought it was possible though. I wrenched open the door, and there standing in the driveway was the most perfect glowing red truck I'd ever seen.

I looked back and forth between it and my smiling parents, standing on the porch. "Oh, you guys are amazing." I flung myself into their arms and laughed loudly. My dad held up the keys as I stepped back and I grabbed them off him, treasuring them in the palm of my hand.

" I love you guys." They laughed again as I stroked my hand along the paint. Sure it was a bit chipped and sure, it was obviously an old truck but it was my painted chipped and rusty old truck. When I turned the keys in the ignition, I had to stifle a moan of happiness.

Driving into school, I felt like a queen. Some of the richer kids, cough Edward cough, had cars, but none of them had trucks like mine. As I stepped out of my new favorite toy, careful to mind my feet and their … you know clumsiness, Emmett enveloped me in a hug.

" B! Happy birthdeee," he sang.

I squealed as he swung me round. " B? Really?"

"Well it had to rhyme."

He put me back on the round, slowly, knowing me and scuffled my hair. Around us we were getting funny looks. The popular guy with the not so popular girl. Odd. But… it didn't really matter. We started to walk and he kept smiling out of the side of hi mouth.

" What?"

" I remember you were you were only this high", he raised his hand up to the top of his hip.

" Stop that! I'm the same age a you."

Ahead of us I spotted a bronze head of hair. There's only one person in the world with hair that colour. Emmett spotted it too.

"Yo ED!" He shouted. He was leaning up against one of the lockers looking intently down at someone who was blocked by the sea of teenagers. He turned towards us at the sound of his name and I couldn't help but burst into a glowing smile. When I saw him yesterday, for a second all I could feel was fear. He was drunk, not as drunk as usual and I expected it was wearing off by the time I came round. But still it was a shock to the system, but I never thought he would just magically get better after rehab, It would take time.

Edward raised a hand and then went back to looking at Rosalie. Rosalie? He said something to her, nodded and then she glanced once at me and Emmett, smiling a little and walked away. With Edward by her side.

My smile dropped. "Wha?" Emmett and I said together.

Emmett balled a fist and punched it into the middle of his other hand. Weird. Very, very weird. The bell made us both jump.

"Gotta rocket Bella", he grinned, but his eyes were still worried. Edward with Rosalie… well they were kind of friends, but … well usually he'd at least acknowledge me… but today… on my birthday he didn't.

Mr. Harris my English teacher started to tell us that he was going to starts on Keats and I gazed out the window, ignoring everything. The view wasn't anything spectacular, just the parking lot and the trees, the forest. But better than Mr. Harris pimply face.

" Bella Swan."

My head swiveled toward the front of the classroom.

"You're wanted in the office."

I blinked. Why the hell would I be needed in the office? I hadn't done anything. Hell I hadn't even been in the freaking school two weeks. It had to be paper work or something like that. I got my books and nodded to the teacher, slipping out of the room. The halls were scarily empty, the only sounds coming from the vague voices of the many teachers as I passed their classrooms.

When I eventually reached the office, I knocked but no one answered. I pressed the handle down and the door swung open.

"Hello Isabella", Edward said, looking out at me from under his sooty eyelashes.

I stepped back. " What are you doing in here?"

" Come on in", he bowed mockingly.

I lowered my brows in confusion, half shaking my head. " What is this."

Behind me he locked the door, and the sound was oddly unsettling.

" Hello Bella," An overly sweet voice said.

Okay. Now I was more confused than a turtle in a hedgehogs bed. "Rose?"

Edward moved to step beside her. "I realized I never gave you my answer Isabella."

" I know you didn't and stop calling me that," I snapped, annoyed at him for putting me in this strange situation. Really I felt butterflies fizzing around in the pit of my stomach. Something was most definitely wrong.

He stretched out an arm and put it round my waist, pulling me in and crushing his lips to mine. It was all wrong, rough and bad and insincere.

" Get off!" I pushed him back.

He wiped his lips with the back of his hand, and spit on the ground. " You're so fucking boring Isabella."

" Edward… Calm", Rosalie said laying a finger on the top of his arm. He took a deep breath in through his nose, closing his eyes. As he breathed back out, his eyes flung open and he glared.

"I don't love you. I don't love you, and I never will." My heart just dropped and I stared at the floor, completely … just... how could.. how could he… and so cruelly.

"Actually Rose and I have been together for ages."

"Like tighter together" she added.

Breath, Bella Breath. I didn't know it was possible to feel like this. It's like the whole world around me has just fallen away. I start to tremble.

"When you confessed I really had to try not to laugh. I mean did you really think someone like you, boring, limp, ugly Isabella Swan, would look anyway good with me? Did you think I would actually want to be with you? That you ever had a chance?"

"Edward… stop. Okay I get it you don't love me. Fine. There's no need for this."

He gripped Rosalie's hand tightly and my eyes couldn't help but rest on their fingers intertwined. It was the only thing that existed for a moment.

" I'm sick of you stalking me, sick of you following me around like a stupid little puppy. It was fun for a while, we had a nice laugh about it, but I'm over it. From now on can you just stick to your own fucking life?"

I swallowed and bought my eyes up to meet his. I taught maybe I'd see some sign that he was joking, some sign that this was all just some stupid act. Till I saw stone cold resolve. And amusement.

" We are sorry, Bella, but you really just wouldn't take no for an answer. We even considered a restraining order", she giggled.

My eyes widened and I took a step back. "I I I… Edward … you're not serious about this are you?"

He looked straight at me when he said. "Deadly. You were never supposed to be a part of my life. You _really _weren't supposed to be a fucking annoying stalker."

When he said that my calm appearance came crashing down. I started to shake and I really couldn't breath. It was like my airways were closing or something. I kept my eyes on the ground. Edward was….

" Open the fucking door now. " Emmett bellowed from outside. " Right now Cullen. I'm going to fuck your brains in."

Edward sighed and slipped by me, right be me, opening the door. Emmett thundered in. I'd never really seen Emmett angry, never seen him curse. Ever, but he pummeled into Edward, his fist raised and swiped him right across the jaw. Edward knocked into the photo copier and Rose rushed over to him. Emmett turned to me. "Are you okay, Bella? Bella?" He shook me.

"Is she alright?" Mr. Harris and the principle came in through the door.

Emmett took my hand kneeling down in front of me. " Bella honey, I need you to talk."

I couldn't look at him. I was so humiliated so embarrassed so… " How did you know? I managed to get out."

He took a deep breath. " It was on the intercom." I looked up at the ceiling. "Oh god." I let go of Emmett's hand. I pushed past the teacher trying to help me. The bell rang as I hurried down the hall and people came out of there classrooms giggling and laughing.

"_Oh my god did you hear?"_

"_Bella swan?"_

"_Stalker." _

I crashed into the girls' bathroom, throwing myself into one of the cubicles. And started sobbing. There was just this hole in my chest now, this humungous, dark hole. How could anything ever feel right again?

EPOV.

I broke her. I knew it. I just knew it. But I had to do it. This pain she would _need_ to suffer from, to get away from me. To get away from the monster that I was. It wouldn't take her that long, I hoped. Even if we had ever gotten together… it wouldn't have been for as long. Better now, than later. Better she get away from me and be able to live her life. Better for everyone.

Emmett couldn't even look at me. We were outside the principles office, sitting in green cushioned wicker chairs. Evidently using the schools intercom system was not allowed. But we knew that, Rosalie and I. But we knew we'd have to make it a clean break before she would ever give up. That girl just had too much faith in me.

" Why did you do it man. After everything that girl has done for you."

Bella. Bella who could have been my Bella. " I had to do it Em. I had to. You were right, I was only going to cause her pain. I'd only hurt her more in the long run. I need her to be away from me. I'm sorry." I turned away with shame as red hot tears began to fall like flaming lava down my face. " Oh god I'm so sorry."

BPOV.

"Hello", a high pitched voice called. Someone rapped on the door. "Hello! Open this door crying girl."

What the hell? I kicked at the door furiously to make her go away.

"Look here", the voice said. "I'm trying to help. Come out, come out wherever you are." I flushed the toilet which was full to the brim with my tissues and opened the door to tell the voice be on her way.

Standing in front of me, beaming was the tiniest girl ever, with shoulder length black hair and sparkling eyes.

She cocked her head to one side. "You don't look so good. Are you Bella?"

I nodded miserably. Everyone knew.

" I'm Alice. And I'm the chairperson of The "Boys Are Devils" club. Wanna join?"

I smiled weakly at the peppy girl. She opened her arms. "Come here." I didn't move. For god sake." She gripped me, pulling me in for a hug. "I know you don't know me, but I think we should be friends. How about we burn down the Cullen's house tonight. And roast marshmallows over the remains."

This time I laughed. I liked Alice from the first moment I met her. Out of all the people in the entire school, she was the one person who tried to make me feel better. When we came out of the toilets there were a lot of stares, a lot of laughs and whispering.

" What's your fucking problem?" Alice cried as we walked. She was strong for an imp. When we came to the principals office, I knew he would want to see me. Alice glanced up at me. "Let's ignore Mr. principle for today."

I nodded. " Yes. Lets."

I walked into Emmett's burly chest as I turned away from the office.

"Bella", he grabbed my shoulders. "Are you okay? Oh god, I'm so sorry about that jerk, I'm so sorry." Like Alice he pulled me into him. When he let me go, I gave him smile. "I'll be okay Em. You don't have to worry about me. Alice is going to take me home."

" Yup" she popped her p." Alice pointed to herself then me." Girl time."

He gave her an odd but amused look. " I'll call you later then. Promise."

I nodded, and went home to cry. Again.

EPOV.

I got zero sleep last night and I was like a fucking walking zombie. I'd ruined Bella. She was the talk of the school, along with me and Rose.

It was pretty much fifty-fifty on who they talked about more. Bella the stalker and Rose and Edward the couple in love. Or Edward and Rose the dickheads, Bella the sweet innocent. I kept having to tell myself it would all be worth it. Eventually. I hoped.

Rosalie got into my volvo, kissing me on the cheek. I tried not to shudder. " Lets go boyfriend." As part of the deal, I agreed to go out with Rose. It didn't matter. I was sort of numb. I'd just have to hope that she was like At school we were shot with curious look upon deathray look. Emmett was short with me. But he still talked to me. And then the halls went quiet. Bella. The doors opened, and by her side yapped a small dark hired girl. And Bella was smiling faintly. She looked down at the floor as people stared. I was bracing myself for it, bracing for the look she would give me, betrayed hurt, sorrowful, angry. Instead she looked right by me. As if I never existed. She just walked. Right. By.

**How was it? Review please? I'm off to watch Glee Yay! And thank you for all your reviews so far, they really are amazeballs!**


	10. Chapter 9

**Hello people! First things first I've been really, really bad at responding to reviews and I really am so sorry about that. Basically this has been my life for the last three weeks.**

**Breakfeast. School till 4. Study till nine. Read reviews, exclaim oh my god I love you and collapse. But I really do intend to reply from now on. Really. I hope.**

**Anyway, this chapter is really just taking a break from all the angst and messiness, and I hope you like it. It involves more Edward beatings. You seem to like that, ha.**

**My mocks are over AND Dell, finally delivered my laptop. Yay, so updates should be faster, Again hopefully.**

**Disclaimer… yea I can't be bothered, so Stephenie Meyer owns all.**

**Enjoy.**

I raise my fist. Ready to fight, ready to hurt. Edward takes a step back, his teeth sinking into his lower lip. I throw myself forward and my hand smashes into his nose. It breaks with a satisfactory snapping noise and my lips turn up in glee. I rest both my fists on my waist and throw back my head, laughing.

"Take that "I'll tell the world you're a stalker." How you like me now Eddie boy?"

" Uh, Bella?" Jazz says from behind me. I jump and quickly stop my manic laughter.

" Shit!"

Jasper chuckles and takes a step forward, taking my hands, pulling the red boxing gloves off. He shakes his head. "I really have to stop leaving you alone with the punch bag. Your fantasies are getting a little too violent for my liking. If they should be about anything, it should be me."

We're in his dad's basement, because I outright refused to willingly be in the same room as You Know Who and You Know What. And I'm not talking about Voldemort. It was a little cold, sure, but Jazz, Alice and I had made it out home over the past month. We'd moved the old brown couch from my garage to Jaspers. Alice quickly took charge after that, and us two starry eyes friends, watched in amazement as she decorated the room from top to bottom with a mini fridge, rug, fairy lights and Mayday Parade poster included.

" Really, like Bella" he says, flopping down on the couch. " You only got your cast off like last week, and all ready you're beating the living daylights out of my hot physique- making bag."

" Hot physique- making bag.? Jesus." I laugh. What the hell like?

My phone beeped. " It's Alice."

_I wish I could murder traffic and wear it as a hat. Be there in twenty. Xxxxx_

Jasper leans on my shoulder, reading the text. I couldn't believe how easily he had fitted into our "club". With his looks he would have easily been accepted into Rose and Edward's, there I've said it, group and sure sometimes he hung out with them, but he was just…sweet that way.

" That one, " he sighs. " I bet she just saw a sale."

I nodded gravely, "I think so too."

" A travesty"

" Oh a tragedy." We look at each other and just absolutely burst into laughter. He reaches over and puts his hand on my waist and begins to gently tickle me there, and that starts me off into another fit of giggles. I started to squirm and push his hand away when the door leading down to us, bursts open.

Edward's standing at the top of the stairs. When he sees, that yes, the basement is indeed occupied, he just kind of half waves his hand in front of him. "Sorry" Edward mutters, turning away.

Jasper removes himself from me and I sit back into the hole I've grooved for myself. " Edward, man, did you want something?"

Slowly he turns back to face us. "Um, You got anything to drink down there, like… a coke or something… all Rose has is beer and wine." I don't think jasper is fully aware of Edward's permanent sobriety but he didn't question anything. "Sure come down, I'll get you something." Cautiously, he moves down the stairs, his feet creaking on each wooden step. Jasper hops up and goes to the fridge, starting to rummage deep inside it. Jesus. It couldn't be that hard to find a coke, could it?"

The seat next to me sinks down with Edward's weight as he lowers himself beside me.

He stares at the table in front of us. " Hi Bella."

" Yeah… uh," is all I can say. So we're "hi bella-ing" now are we? Sure, we had a couple of nice moments a few weeks ago, but that doesn't erase the fact you are a class 'A' assmunch!

"Hold on", Jasper says. "I'm sure I have some upstairs."

Edward gets back up, "really Jazz it's okay, I'll just… "

He raises an eyebrow. "You wanted a drink. I'm getting you a drink. Sit."

No one can disobey Jasper when he's got that tone going on.

To say it's awkward is an understatement. I actually literally could murder Jasper for this. Edward coughs. I sigh. Damn the world.

" So you're boxing then?" He eyes the gloves, on the chair rest beside me.

I snort " No. I just like to stare at shiny leather things."

He closes his mouth and I stare at the ground. " Do you wanna try?" he asks quietly.

I stare at him confused. " What do you mean try?"

" I mean?" he gestures towards the gloves.

" With you?"

He smiles, "yeah with me."

Oh god shouldn't I just feel so freaking blessed that Edward has deigned to speak to me. But if I refuse, I'll look like a wimp. I don't however have to accept happily. I scowl ," Fine" and pick up the gloves, slipping them onto my hands. He stands behind the punch bag, gripping the sides tightly, cocking his head to one side. "Hit me with your best shot Bella."

I smack the bag and it barely moves. He smirks and a piece of his damning bronze hair falls in front of his eyes. As he reaches it to brush it aside, I throw all my force into the punch. The bag hits itself off Edward's stomach and rockets back towards me. I hold up my hands to block it but the smack I so desperately assume is going to happen… doesn't.

I don't have to look to know why. "Thanks for doing your job."

" Thanks for hitting when I was obviously unprepared."

" I'll hit _you_ in a minute if your not careful."

" I'd like to see you try."

" Get back in your bloody position and we'll see won't we."

I fixate Edward with a glare as he moves behind the bag again. He makes a mock display of holding onto it tightly and I have to hold myself back from rolling my eyes. I focus my gaze on the bag and pull back my fist, getting ready to hit with all my force. At the exact second that I push forward, Rosalie shrieks down the stairs. Edward jumps and momentarily leans his head slightly to the left, popping it out from behind the sack of black leather. Despite the fact that I try to aim for the middle of the bag, I of course miss and it goes slamming into Edwards chin.

He grunts in pain as I drop my hands to my sides.

The steps creak agonizingly and Rosalie appears beside him, pulling him flush against the side of her body.

"Are you okay baby?" she asks in an oh so girly voice. Edward rubs his chin and glares at me, his green eyes blazing with undisguised anger.

I shrug , removing the gloves. " Er, sorry."

Rosalie stamps her foot, "That's all you have to say?"

I chomp down on the back of my teeth. Don't grit your teeth, Bella. You'll have none left. "It was an accident Rosalie. It was just as much your fault as mine."

" _I_ didn't punch someone,"

" That someone is getting a little fucking pissed." Edward growls. He pushes the arms wrapped around his waist, away. Rosalie pouts and turns away from him.

" You're okay, right Ed?" I ask, wincing at my use of his nickname.

" Fine," he snaps.

" PMS-ing are we? Jesus, I didn't mean it."

We glare at each other, lightning sparks passing between us. Rosalie's eyes zip from me to him, still pouting and tossing her hair over her shoulder.

" Er guys?" Jasper interrupts. When the hell did he get here?

I look away, " Jazz, do you want to go to Glen's?" Just say yes jasper. Glen's is one of the only coffee shops in Forks and the owner of the shop… Glen, obviously, is a crazy middle aged man who's taken to spouting " magic words of wisdom" at all the customers. He's freaking awesome.

He glances at twiddle dum and twiddle dee ,"Yes?" No need for the question mark Jazz. Asking was just my attempt at being polite. You don't really have a choice.

"Great", I grab his hand. "Lets go." I pull him along behind me, up the stairs and practically toss him out into the hall. As I close the door behind me, I see Rosalie and Edward engaged in a full feet stamping worthy argument. Edward's eyes flitter up to meet mine from in front of Rosalie's storming temper tantrum. I half heartedly wave my hand at him. He shoots me a crooked smile, argument apparently forgotten. Rosalie notices and smacks his chest and he scowls at her.

I shut the door. "Bella? Can we go now?"

" S'pose so", I grumble.

" Here's your food Bella." Glen hands me my fries and burger and I grin up at him.

The walls are a dark deep, wine red, the floors a muted brown wood. During the day, it serves an an ordinary coffee shop, light and airy. At night you can find sultry music and a glorious fire.

" Don't forget," Glen says as he hands Jasper the same. "A life with cheese, is better than a life with no cheese."

Jazz and I erupt into laughter, and Alice who has finally joined us, puts her head into her folded arms shaking with giggles. When she finally lifts her head back up there are tears flowing down her cheeks.

" I love that man, so much."

" He's amazingly brilliant," I agree.

I take a bite of my burger, sinking my teeth into the juicy meat.

" Tell me now," Jasper orders.

Alice turns to me. " Tell him what?"

" Bout Edward."

" Oh it's a twisted and sickening tale." She leans forward over the table to jasper. " Are you sure you wanna risk it jasper?"

" Yeah, I think I can handle it. It can't be that bad."

Alice and I look at each other.

" That bad? You obviously know not a single minuscule thing about the evil workings of your sister and her, I'm sad to say, very good looking boyfriend," Alice retorts.

The door behind me swings open and Emmett swaggers in, grinning like he always does with a smile spread across his face. His white shirt clings to his muscles, almost seeming inhuman like.

I hop up. " Ali you tell Jazz, I'm going to talk to… "  
"Move" she butts into me. I stumble back and she huddles herself into the corner with Jazz. That girl, honestly.

"Hey Conan," I sit beside Emmett at the counter, giving Glen a quick wave.

" Bella, hey, what's up?"

I shrug, " Nothing much."

" Just missed me then?", he bumps his shoulder into mine.

" Oh you got it"

" ASSHOLE!" Jasper proclaims from the corner seat, banging his fist on the table. The room goes quiet and Emmett gives me a surprise look. " Is that Jasper? I thought that guy was like, quiet."

" Jazz… no… he's just hearing a rather interesting tale."

Emmett moves a little closer to me, so that only I can hear. "You're telling him about Edward?"

" Well, technically Alice is but essentially yes, I am."

" You know", he touches my hand gently. " You really gotta let that go Bella."

I smile at him "I know I do and I really think I am. Even if it's somewhat slowly."

" I'm glad Bells. I really am. He's my best friend… but… he's frigging stupid."

" That, I know."

" And… I'm glad you're talking to me… willingly again." There's a silence between us. I stopped taking Emmett's calls after that day. He'd obviously taken Edward's side and for a while I was just so bitter about it I couldn't even stand to look at him. When I eventually was a bit more willing to start talking to him again, I really didn't know how to approach it, so I left it. I knew he was hurt when I cut him out of my life… but… I never claimed I dealt with what happened well. But it seems that something has changed… I'm gradually becoming stronger. I mean I stood up to Edward and Rosalie, who though that could happen?

I squeeze Em's hand. " Me too."

" Start, you stupid piece of junk!" I slam my hands onto the wheel of my truck. I have quite literally ten minutes before school starts and ordinarily this would not be a problem, because I've always had my beautiful truck but said beautiful truck has decided to go haywire this morning and I have a freaking trig test first period!

I flip open my phone. " Ali?" on

" Yup, yup, yup, my dear."

" Are you at school? My car broke down."

Alice groans, " Aw, Bella honey, I am but I'll come get you."

" No s'okay" I grumble, scratching my head. " Then you'll be late. I'll just run."

" In the rain?" The water pelts onto my front window and I know that no matter how fast, I run I'll be completely soaked the moment I step foot outside the truck.

" I'll be fine." I snap it shut and open my door slowly, preparing myself. As I thought within seconds of rushing down the street, my clothes are sticking to me. I pause under one rather large and leafy tree, just to catch my bearings, reveling in its sweet shelter. I contemplate just skipping school altogether and returning home for a nice shower and hot chocolate but the trig test echoes in my mind. I glance at my watch. At most I'll have ten minutes to do the test but… it's better than no test at all. Through the sheets of rain comes a silver Volvo that brings a glowering scowl to my face. I take a step back as it approaches, just in case it decides to go through a puddle and make me even more soaked to the skin, if that is in fact possible. Instead the car slows down and stop just beside the tree. The door swings open.

" Need a lift?"

**So I really hope you like this, I know it's a bit different from the other chapters, but tell me what you think please, ie REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!**

**Oh and if you haven't heard of mayday parade you should really look them up, they're freaking amazing. Try, Miserable at best, Black Cat, I swear this time I mean it, your song or Kids in love… Hell they're all great.**


	11. Chapter 10

**Hey peoples! Hope you're all doing okay! Here's the next chapter… please enjoy.**

**Disclaimer… nope still not mine… but I've got my catsuit and burgulary outfit at the ready.**

EPOV

She just stares at me, her mouth a little ajar. No blame to her, or anything, it's a huge fucking surprise isn't it. Edward Cullen being civil? Who would have thought it possible? This whole new "nicer me" came about in one swift and rather threatening conversation between Emmett and I.

It was about three weeks ago, a week after Bella went on crutches. I was sitting on my couch reading ' On the Road' by Jack Keroac, and it fell to the ground as he clattered in. I sat up.

" Hey, Emmett..."

" You shush!" He started to pace up and down the room and I have to say, I was more than a little amused, " Something I can help you with?"

He gripped his hair tightly and started rocking back and forward. " Emmett!" I laughed. "Just spit it out."

He stopped and turned to face me, arm out-stretched , index finger pointing directly at me. "Bella's talking to me again." I stayed silent as he lowered his arm. " And it was your fault she ever stopped. If you weren't such a tool, we would have been fine."

I breathed out heavily, "I know Emmett."

He shuffled forward and grabbed my t-shirt, pulling me towards his face, "I've always known you've had a thing for me."

" If you ruin this, I will bash your face in, and burn your books. I'm not asking you to seek her out but if you're near her, learn this thing called civility. I'm asking you to do this for me. Can you?"

I pushed him off me. Well, I attempted to. It basically just involved him letting me go. " Ed, promise me." The idea sounded impossible, it was as simple as that. I'd spent nearly four years making sure Bella stayed away from me, and four years making sure I stayed away from her. But... Emmett... he stuck by me. Despite how pissed he was, he stuck by me. I owed him this. And anyway it wasn't like I ever really saw Bella.

That's why I was so surprised when, craving a drink at Rose's, I went to her basement. It had changed a lot since the last time I'd been down there. Not least was the fact that Jasper fucking Hale was on top of Bella. With. His. Hands. All. Over her. I couldn't stand to see them and I tried to leave, but that fucker, who I used to think was alright, Jasper, just had to fucking butt in with his oh so helpful disposition. When the blonde fuck head went to stick himself head first into the fridge, I sat on the couch. I could physically feel Bella tense up at my closeness. Emmett's request ran true in my ears, his voice tough but pleading. I said hi to her and what she said back could barely be considered a coherent language. She was shocked but looked oddly pissed. Bella bit my head off when I asked her about the boxing. I don't know why I asked her if she wanted to try with me, it just came out. It went beyond the boundary of being simply civil and went into the realm of friendly, which wasn't my intention. But the thought of us hanging out brought a slight smile to my face. And it wasn't just that I was being friendly… but we were bickering like friends. And I was fucking enjoying myself. Till Rose came along and absolutely ruined it and Bella fucking whacked me. I was more annoyed with the fact I let her hit me than the actual hitting part and we had a sort of glaring match which was really fucking hilarious. It sort of warmed my heart a little to see Bella standing up to Rose. She was a little stronger, a little tougher and I honestly was glad that she was able to finally look Rose and I in the eye. And she waved me goodbye. Despite the fact that I made it a major no- no for us to be friends… I still felt… well… it was an emotion I shouldn't have allowed myself to feel.

Rose tore into me.

" You said nothing! Edward come on!"

" What was I supposed to say Rose! It _was_ your fault."

" You were with Bella though!"

I threw up my hands " And fucking and Rose, what's the big deal. We're not really in a relationship are we! You don't really have a say."

" We are in a relationship Edward! What do you call this then?" she gestured between us.

" Something really fucked up." I shouted.

Her eyes filled with sparkling tears and she slapped me hard. I didn't love Rose, I couldn't, not in that way. But I'd 'been with' her for a long time. I sighed and put an arm round her. She burrowed into my chest, wrapping an arm around m neck.

" Whatever we have." I said, "It's not going to last forever."

Bella pushes some of the hair that's stuck to her forehead out of her face, so I can see her eyes.

" I would rather eat my fist than get in a car with you."

" Fine then go on. I'm interested to see." I reach forward and switch the heating on high, the hot air blows into my face. " Ah refreshing." She scowls. Yet again this goes outside the realm of simply being nice-ish to her but seeing her standing under that tree, shaking and soaked… someone else just takes over my body. I'm getting to close to her, but I can't seem to stop.

" Could you _just_ go to school?"

" I think the question is, can you? Come on Bella," I cock my head to one side giving her the crooked smile I know she loves, or at least, used to love. "You're in my trig class, I know you don't want to miss that test", I pat the seat next to me. She hesitates for a moment looking back at the house, then up ahead where the school is, a good ten minute run, but she gets in the car, however reluctantly, and I smile to myself.

"Take that shit eating grin off your face."

I start the car and kick it into gear. She doesn't say anything else to me for a few minutes, but there's a tension building up inside the car. One of is going to crack.

" So what the hell is this?" Ah, finally. If only I actually had an answer. I just shrug in response.

" This", she mimics me is not answer.

" It was raining?"

" And?" she half shakes her head. " Would that not be cause for you to cheer or something." I don't have anything to say to that.

" I mean, " she continues, " why are you being so nice to me? I just don't get it."

I shrug again. I know I'm going down the path to hell. I'm not safe for Bella… but … I just can't seem to stay away.

" You're hopeless Edward." I pull into the school parking lot. It's almost full now as we're cutting it close and people hurry into the warmth of the building.

I open the car door, but she just simply stays still, staring out of the windscreen.

" Bella?"

She glances at me. I smile " Are you coming? Trig test remember."

She crinkles her forehead, " Edward. This feels really strange."

I nod slowly… it actually feels pretty natural to me, but then again, she never did anything to me, so we're not exactly on even ground or any of that shit.

"Are you planning something?"

" What?" I say confused.

" Like", she twists her hands, " do you have a bucket of pigs blood hooked up to the outside of the door."

Oh… so she thinks this is all a rouse… fair enough… I haven't given her a reason to trust me in a long time.

" No, I'm not planning anything. Really Bella, I promise." Her eyes narrow for a moment and eventually she gives me a sharp nod, a quick thank you and flies out the door. I on the other hand walk considerably slower and watch as she shakes herself on Brandon, who in turn shrieks and runs off. Jasper comes up behind her, and wraps an arm around her shoulder, laughing. Fucker.

BPOV

" Need a lift?"

" It's not raining today, Edward," I sigh, stopping in the middle of the pavement.

"Really?" he puts a hand outside the car window. "I never would have guessed." I bite my lip. It wasn't horrendous yesterday… but… god… it's Edward. Another part of me says "it's Edward" in a much more excited and high pitched tone. I open the door and clamber in.

" You okay?" he starts to drive.

" Apart from breathing the same air as you, yeah I'm absolutely fine ."

" Well, like-wise," he scoffs. He switches on the radio, turning it up as high as it can go.

" For gods-sake", I scream, covering my ears, half jumping out of my seat, "turn that thing down."

"What?" he cups his ear, I can't hear you. I reach forward, and lower the column.

" Oh, you were trying to say it's too loud."

" No duh, maestro", I snap.

He fiddles with his ipod and the loud heavy music he had on before is switched to something soft and sweet, a rising and falling melody.

" Clair de Lune?" I ask in a much lighter voice.

" Yeah."

" Do… do you still play piano?" Edward was just… fantastic. He had an absolutely just magnificent gift. In our younger years, I'd lay on the floor for hours just listening to him run his fingers over those keys.

His straightens his back a little and very curtly replies "no."

" Why not? I glance at him, and his mouth is pressed in a dead straight line.

" I haven't played since my mother died, okay?"

"Okay…" I let the topic drop.

He parks the car and I mutter a word of thanks before we both go our separate ways.

" I'm sorry," Alice says. "Did I just see you get out of a car with tithead Cullen."

" Please… just don't say anything, okay?"

In biology Edward sits as far away as possible from me, and to be honest I do the same. The practical is pretty okay, considering I have to forcefully work with you know who. Still, he stays kind of alright... mostly. At some points, it's obvious he's frustrated with my being over meticulous with the fine focus knob " Just let me do it" he snaps repeatedly. I smile at him serenely and that only provokes him more. By the end of it we're both glaring at each other from across the very large gaps of our seats. Mr Banner moves to the top of the room, clapping his hands together. "I expect you all" he eyes Edward and I, " to write this practical and analysis together, by next week. If you don't… let's say… just do it okay?"

Edward and I sigh together. "Just come over earlier in the morning, I'll give you a lift after, okay?"

I wave my hand over my shoulder as a yes.

Esme welcomes me in the morning with a large smile and a hug. "Bella, what a nice surprise" she exclaims. "Edward's just up in his room." I nod and walk up the stairs. I knock on Edward's door, but get no answer, and so taking matters into my own hands I enter on my own. His room really hasn't changed that much, even if he has added in a massive Natalie Portman picture. It's still green… still messy. I sit on the bed and cross my legs, humming "Check Yes Juliet" by We The Kings to myself. Edward opens the door, rubbing his hair with a washcloth…and only wearing a towel slung low on his hips. I take in a deep breath, because Edward is freaking ripped! He always looks a lot frailer next to Emmett but my god, he's got an amazing six pack. Not Arnold-like, thank goodness, just a nicely defined torso.

He yelps and jumps back and in a half assed attempt I cover my eyes with my arm.

" What are you doing in here?" He shouts.

" I didn't know you were half naked! I knocked."

" Oh well thanks for that! Just… just turn the fuck around, okay."

" Fine" I swivel round, throwing my legs over the side of his bed.

I hear some ruffling in the corner and the sound a zip being pulled up. " You can turn around now."

" I really am sorry, Ed."

He shakes his head, " It's fine… don't worry about it. Did you like it?"

" Like what?"

" My body?"

I splutter, " What no.. .of course… how can you, NO!"

He smacks his lips, " So you weren't checking me out?"

I groan, " Can we just do our project?"

And so developed our routine. He gave me a lift to school every day while my truck was undergoing a full repair and I came over and had breakfast with him and we did our biology projects if need be. We never talked about our past, and we never, ever god forbid acknowledged each other in school. In the car, and in his house, we were friendly, nowhere near like what we used to be… but I could classify us as friends, and I really wasn't sure how I felt about that… once I would have jumped at the chance... but now? I have not once ounce of faith or trust in him and it's very doubtful I ever will… god I hope I'm not being bitter.

" Are you going to Emmett's tonight?"

" His Halloween party?" I laugh, "no I'm not sure", I flick through his songs. " You have Lifehouse on this? Awesome", I switch on 'Beautiful.'

Edward smiles ,"I love this song."

" Alice wants to go," I return to our conversation, " And Jazz has never been to one of Emmett's parties… so I don't know, I'll just have to see."

He pauses… " You, you should come, it'll be good."

I sit back in my seat so I can really look at him , "Oh, now that I have your permission, I'm totally going."

" I didn't mean it like that Bella. You should come with Alice and", he gulps, " Jasper".

I blink. " You've done that before."

" What?"

I imitate his gulp.

" You're being paranoid Bella."

" Am I?"

Even though we've been going to school together for nearly three weeks, the stares we get are nothing to the ones Emmett and I used to get. Edward has repeatedly stated that we are not friends. But when people ask, 'why the lifts', he doesn't really have an answer. And Emmett just gives us coy looks and wiggles his eyebrows, He's so unhelpful.

Alice jumps me, cuddling in close. " Bella, are we going tonight?"

" Straight to the point then yes?"

" Absolutely. Now can we go please? I groan and Alice squeals "That's a yes. I know that sound and it means yes!"

We meet Jasper at his locker , just as he slams it shut.

Alice weasels up to him, taking his hand. "Jasper", she says gravely.

" Yes Alice" , he says equally gravely.

" Get your dancing shoes on, We're going to a partay tonight!"

" Alice, there is no way I'm wearing this!"

She yanks a brush through my hair. " Sit and stay, you look gorgeous." Alice has dressed as her namesake, Alice in Wonderland. Slutty Alice that is… her hair is up in high pigtails, tied with blue ribbons, her blue dress is super sort and low cut and she's wearing knee high socks and killer heels.

" But yours is so innocent compared to mine."

"Innocent?" she points at her garter.

" Just give me my jeans Alice, this is really degrading."

" It's _really_ fun", she waggles her fingers in front my face. "Now close your eyes." Alice opens a can of hair spray… and freaking sprays. When I breathe in, I cough loudly

"Jesus Alice, are you trying to kill me?"

" I'm not now but if you don't stop complaining, I might." She grabs my arm and pulls me up to the mirror. " You look effing hot Bella."

Somehow she's managed to squeeze me into a tight, shorts red dress with off the shoulder sleeves down to my wrists. It's extremely low cut, with an amazingly tight black corset over it which pushes my boobs up to my neck. Well not quite but they're fairly high up. The dress only barely covers my ass and flutters out with layers of black under skirt. The boot are just past my knees ,tight black leather and high as hell and there's a sword swinging on my hips.

" I look like a hooker Alice,"

" Yes, but a very cute hooker. Now give me your lips."

" Switching to the other side are we?"

" Please" she pulls me down. " You need shiny red lips for an outfit like this."

Walking into Emmett's is horrendously humiliating. Not the most embarrassing moment of my life though, because that number one spot has already been taken, thank you Edward and Rose. Everyone is dressed in a variety of costumes, fairy, ladybug, peacock... A cock… some people are weird. There are far too many playboy bunnies for my liking… don't people have any originality? Emmett has strung up lights everywhere, and there are several skeletons I see peeking out from various locations along with some creepy pumpkins glowing in the almost dark. There are spider webs flung all over the house and I don't even want to look at what kind of food he's serving. He described it all to me at lunch last week. I shudder.

We find both Jasper and Emmett in the kitchen, roaring laughing.

" What's so funny?" Alice asks, hopping up onto the counter.

Jasper and Emmett's mouths drop, " Wow", they say together and I laugh from the doorway. Their eyes flitter towards me. " Wow!" They say louder, and I laugh harder. Emmett has gone as a grizzly bear... fitting considering his appearance with hair stuck all over his body and thick obviously not real claws. Jasper looks amazing. He's Edward Scissorhands with long fake plastic knives on his hands. He has a tight leather top on, and tight black jeans. He 's whitened his face and smudged eyeliner around his eyes. He looks… sexy. I hope it's not weird that I think that.

While Emmett is chatting to Alice, he walks up to me.

" You look great", I grin.

" So do you. And I really mean that." He trails his eyes up along my body, and my face reddens… a lot.

" Stop that", I smack his leather clad hest.

He winks, "Can't help it darlin, you're really looking pretty gorgeous."

" Well, thank you," I mumble.

He looks out at the crowd just past the doorway. " Do you… " he hesitates. " Do you want to dance?"

" Me? Dance", I laugh. "I don't think you want to see that."

" Uh, I think I do. Now come on." He grabs my hands and drags me out onto the makeshift dancefloor. He tugs my body in tight against him, and starts to slide up against it. It's wow… hot in here. I wrap my arm around his neck and start to copy his movements.

" Bella?" he whispers into my ear.

" Yeah?" I gulp.

"I really like you."

I chuckle "I like you too." He pulls back, almost out of my arms, shaking his head.

"No Bella, I_ really_ like you."

Grabbing the back of my head, he presses his lips to mine. I gasp in surprise and he takes this as sign to slide his tongue into my mouth. It's quite… well it's quite freaking nice... just surprising. I entangle my fingers in his hair and pull him closer, and he lets out a little moan. Just as this happens, Jasper is thrust aside and someone grips my wrist hurtling me along. I'm dragged and shoved into people as I'm lead/ forced into Emmett's closet, filled with coats.

I wince as the person let's go of my hand and the light is switched on.

No way " Edward?"

" What the fuck were you doing", he growls

**Tah dah? Nice cliffy right? I hope you liked it? Can I get… I dunno like into the teens with the review? That would be pretty effing awesome.**


	12. Chapter 11

**Hello all ye humanoids! Firstly I have to thank all those people who've put me on alerts… I've got like a hundred and something so THANK YOU! I really truly adore you all. So… I like this chapter… More progression in the ExB relationship… I hope… Let me know what you think…**

**OOH also… I'm gonna start recommending books. Firstly let's start off easy easy lemon squeezy with the natural choice, CITY OF BONES BY CASSANDRA CLARE. I read the series about two years ago and they really are just fantastic. If you haven't read them, read them ha.**

**Also… reading the fifth werecat book by Rachel Vincent at the mo. The first one is called STRAY, also an amazing series… you'll love Marc and Jace. They rock.**

BPOV

"What are _you_ doing", I wrench myself away from him.

Edward is obviously intelligent because he, in turn, takes a step back. Before I can get my hands on him and wring his neck.

" You were all over him", he hisses. He did not go there. I can't believe it, I think he freaking went there. The effing ass! I' m going to kill him in his sleep. And I was not quote 'all over Jasper.' It was just kissing for Christ sake... nice kissing but just kissing all the same... asshole.

" Whether or not I was all over Jasper has nothing to do with you."

He opens his mouth and two spots of red appear on either of his cheeks. Anger, I assume because Edward Cullen doesn't get embarrassed easily. If anyone should be embarrassed it's freaking me. And maybe Jasper. The anger blush lightens up the paleness of his skin. I think he's supposed to be a vampire... and he's just gone through so much effort. Putting on a tux and cap and running your hands through your hair does not make you a vamp Edward, it makes you freaking lazy. Got that?

" That guy's not good for you," he snaps back.

I bite down hard on the inside of my cheek. "Jasper is a good friend, and nice guy Edward. What reason have you, of all people in the world got to say that about him?"

" He's just...."

" Just what Edward", I raise my arms in the air. "What? What do you want from me?"

" I want you to stay away from him!"

" Why?!"

" Because you're only supposed to want me!"

There's very few times in my life when my voice leaves me, very few times when I'm actually incapable of speech. But this is one of them.

" I can't believe you just said that." Oh maybe not. "After everything you've done to me, after everything you've put me through, I can't believe you would have the audacity to say that to me. What the hell does that even mean, huh Edward? You ruined my life years ago, why do you have to keep doing it!"

" Bella... I..." he starts.

" I'm not freaking finished yet," I smack him. "Whatever we had the last three weeks, it's done Edward. We're done! Everything, childhood, Darkward years, everything you've done. It'll be like you never existed." I flip around and march out of the tiny room.

EPOV

" Bella", I call after her.

" _It'll be like you never existed."_

She pushes herself through the crowd, one arm covering her face. "Oh fuck", I exclaim, grabbing a rack of coats and flinging them on the ground. "What the hell is wrong with me!?"

Words cannot describe what I felt when I saw Bella wrapped around Jasper. It took every ounce of my being not to pummel his stupid face in. Not that I could blame him when she looked like that... but I could barely think of anything but keeping my rage, and there was a lot of it believe me, in check. I don't think I even comprehended that I'd grabbed her until I was staring down at her furious face.

And then... then I said it... the words that just totally set everything loose, the words that would make even me despise myself... "You're only supposed to want me." I don't know where that came from... I mean sure I've thought about what would have happened if I had told Bella I loved her... if we had gotten together... but I've never thought that Bella should _stay_ in love with me, that thought would never have even crossed my mind, but in that split, stupid second, it just came bursting out... I just hate the thought of Bella being with someone else, kissing someone else, _loving_ someone else. There's a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, a clenching, squeezing tightening pain. I haven't had Bella in a long time... but then why does it feel like I'm just losing her now?

I sigh and take off the stupid cape, leaving the cloakroom behind.

" Emmett", I call, spotting his bopping head in the crowd.

" Edward", he shouts with obvious glee. Ah, I spot the little can of beer in his hand. That explains it them. I manoeuvre my way around the people, smiling slightly at those I know.

"I'm going to take off," I shout.

His face drops, " Why Edward, just tell me why you're leaving my party. Is it not good enough for you!?"

I choke out a laugh. "Just not feeling that great, okay man? It's nothing."

He grips my shoulders his face completely serious and in a dead pan voice says " Edward. Please don't die."

"Emmett," I grip him back, " I'll try not to."

I leave my volvo at Emmett's, preferring the cold air and a quick walk to clear my head. It doesn't clear my head, all I can think of is what an absolute tool I am. Not just a tool I'm a fucking IDIOT. Jeez, I grip the top of my head and tug my hair roughly, leaning forward. I suck.

" Edward. Are you okay?"

I stand back up straight. " Esme? What are you doing out here?"

She smiles. " You look dashing. I just thought it was a nice night for a walk. You obviously thought the same? Yes?"

" S'pose so." I kick my heels on the ground.

" Edward... are you okay."

" Yup", I huff.

She smiles again.... "I know we've never really gotten on, Edward, but you can always talk to me okay, sweetheart?"

" Mmmm.. I'll see you at home." I continue to walk down the street, passing the variety of houses, the dimly lit street lights the only thing highlighting my way. I know very well that I don't treat Esme well. It isn't her fault that she has bad taste in men. I just… every time I'm nice to her… I feel like I'm dishonouring my mum or something… I don't want to replace her.

I tuck my hands into my pockets. When I get to my house, I can't help but look across at Bella's. The light in her room is on, and her shadow passes by the window. It happens again... I lose control of my body. For some reason I'm suddenly outside her house, knocking on her door. Her dad opens it. His eyes narrow and the breath hisses out between his teeth.

" Edward," Charlie spits. " What the do you want?"

" Hi Charlie", I say softly. "Is Bella here?" He slams the door... well... that wasn't entirely unexpected. I did humiliate his daughter in front of the entire school and put her through hell. Still he could have heard me out... that is, whatever it is that I want to say....

I duck under the window sill of her kitchen and hear Charlie and Renee yelling. "Why the hell is he calling here again?!" Charlie demands loudly.

" I don't know Charlie, there's no need to speak to me like that," Bella's mum shouts back. Their voices trail off into barely audible mumbles. Once I am completely sure they're gone, I grab onto the branch of the large oak tree outside Bella's window. Placing one of my feet on the base of the tree, I pull myself up so I can reach the larger branch. I then throw my leg over the next branch, one that is big enough and strong enough to support my weight. And is right beside her window. I reach out and knock on it, loud enough for her to hear, but hopefully not loud enough for her father to. I may be strong, but no way am I ready to face the wrath of Police Chief Swan.

A few seconds later the window shoots open. Bella glares out, her hair curled into delicate waves around her face. Even with hellfire in her eyes and her mouth puckered in anger, Bella still manages to look unbelievable beautiful. Her eyes just look shiny and sweetly alluring and her mouth just devilishly tempting... damn it Edward get a hold of yourself.

" What are you doing in my tree? What does 'we're finished' mean to you/"

I stick my foot in the window and she steps back with a gasp. "Edward!"

I squeeze in under the window, wincing as I hit my head off the top of the wooden frame. "Fuck." She scowls and I raise a hand in apology. She moves to sit on her bed and when I try to do the same she stops me and gestures for me to stay on the opposite side of the room.

" Explain why your violating my bedroom. You have exactly ten seconds."

BPOV

I ran out of the party immediately and called Alice on the way to tell her where I was going. And to tell Jasper I was leaving... I really didn't feel like dealing with him at that moment. When I arrived home my dad practically covered his freaking eyes so he didn't have to look at my outfit. Mom on the other side of the things clapped her hands with glee, obviously oblivious to what I was feeling. I grabbed a piece of cake from the fridge and a coke before returning to my bedroom for an angry pig out. After indulging myself and my worries in said piece of chocolate cake, I'm frightened Freddy Kruger style by a sharp knock on my window. Naturally because it seems I have neither flight nor fight reflex, I swung it open. Edward's green eyes shone like cats in the dark. When he pushed himself into my room I was too shocked to push him back out.

"Bella I don't know what to say," he says.

" I don't know what's_ left_ to say Edward. I really don't know what you're doing here or why your here for that matter."

" I just...Bella... I've really liked... being around you."

I snort " Oh, you've liked 'being around me' how freaking lovely. This last month... honestly, it was just a blip in my judgement. Just... me being nostalgic or something... just me being an idiot really."

" Bella", he takes a step forward. " .. I don't know what I want from you... I don't even know why I'm here... I just know that I've really liked hanging out with you... I don't want to lose it."

" You don't want to lose it? God you are the most freaking selfish guy in the world Edward." I'm verging on harpy shrieking, and I pick up a pillow, really hurling it at him. It misses and just barely grazes his side.

" Do. You. Have. Any. _Idea_ what you did to me Edward?! I did everything for you, I practically lived for you for a year." We're no longer simply talking about our recent 'closet time'. It's all coming out in the open now. "My school work suffered, my parents thought I was nuts, hell my entire life suffered, but I didn't _care,_ because I was doing it all for you. And then you joined up with Rosalie who you always claimed you didn't like, to do that to me? Do you realise how messed up that is!"

" You think I don't know what I did! You think it didn't eat me up inside for months, for fucking years?"

" Oh yes I think I do", I spit, standing up. " Or you wouldn't have decided to keep reminding me about it every year. And then you dare to say that I'm 'only supposed to want you.' Do you even think that's possible? Seriously Edward just explain it to me."

" I can't explain okay? I don't_ know_ why I said that. I just hate the thought of you being with him."

I fire another pillow at him. " What's wrong with someone liking me Edward? Is it so horrible for me to be happy? "

" I _want_ you to be fucking happy Bella. God that's all I want... that's why I did..." His voice trails off.

I take a step forward, " That's why you did _what_ exactly?" I tug on my hair and tear several strands out.

" That's why I did what I did, in freshman year. You had to get away from me Bella. You had to live your life. Don't you see Bells", he grabs my hand. "I had to do it."

I yank my hand away. My voice is quiet. "Are you saying that humiliated me in front of the everyone I know, broke my heart and abandoned me because," I smile, "you were thinking about me?" I gaze up at him.

He starts, but then offers me a hesitant smile, scratching the base of his neck " Well yeah... Rose... Emmett they... they thought I'd be bad for you... that I'd hurt you... I...thought would be better to hurt you once than keep you hanging on and hurt you in the long run... but Bella... I don't want to lose you... I want to try ... I'll be good, I'll be a good friend, you can rely on me, you can trust me..."

The fake smile I've plastered on drops, " _You_ are a _fucking _idiot Edward Cullen. What kind of reasoning is that, 'I'll hurt you now, so I don't hurt you later?'You're a coward Edward, a coward because you know I was willing to help you. You know I would have done anything for you, I was your best friend and that's what best friends do. You did not have the right to make that decision for me. You're the one who ran away. What you did... it's unforgiveable Edward. Just, just go." I turn my back on him.

" Bella, I'm sorry" he says from behind me. "You have just no idea how much it hurt me to say those things to you, to do those things to you... but please believe me, I thought I was doing the right thing, I really did. Please, please, give me another chance and I'll be there for you. I promise."

I look over mu shoulder. " Edward, I'm done, now go."

"No... I"

" Dad," I call.

Charlie's feet begin to creak the stairs as he makes his way up towards my room. Edward's eyes widen as he lowers his head, letting out a deep loud breath. "I really am sorry Bella. I'll prove it to you."

I climb into bed as he climbs out the window. " You okay, Bells?" Charlie pops his head in the door.

" Yeah, sorry dad, it was nothing."

" Okay honey. I'll see you in the morning."

" Yup, you surely will."

At least I held in the tears till Edward left, at least I was moderately strong even though I didn't give him the tongue lashing he deserved but... I tried... I wasn't weak... that being said...

I wail into my pillow, thick angry tears cascading down my cheeks. I slam my hands and my head into my pillow over and over again till even the feathery soft cotton can't stop the welts appearing on my hands. Keeping my head in the pillow, I reach to the left to my dresser and grab my phone.

" Ali", I whimper.

She's still at the party and has to shout over the music and people " Bella, what's wrong?"

" Is that Bella? Can I talk to her," Jasper asks in the background.

" No Ali, just please can you just…"

I'll be there in twenty, okay?

The minute that she comes in, she takes one look at my face and hurtles into me. I snuggle into her and of course, start crying again.

" What happened? I haven't seen you like this since..."

I pull back. "We've been hanging out again, Alice, I don't know why, but I liked it, I liked being around him... he was... he was nice... and then Jasper kissed me..."

Alice leans back. " Jasper kissed you?"

I shake my head, "Later", and explain what happened up until now.

All she can say is "Wow."

I slam my hand into the duvet, "what kind of crap is that like, right? 'I did it to protect you,'" I mock in a deep voice.

She rolls her eyes. " He just doesn't have any brain cells Bella... he's a boy and they're dumb, they're so _bloody_ dumb. They know _nothing!"_

" I concur." We high five... though why Alice is so passionate about his thing I'm not sure... she really just is a fantastic friend.

" At least though", she takes off her Alice costume and tosses on a long t-shirt I give her. We clamber into bed, and she takes my hand.

" At least you know the reasoning behind what he did Bella. I'm not defending him but... in his own messed up way...maybe he was trying to help."

"What," I screech-whisper.

" I just said I wasn't defending him! Just that... he did it because he cared."

" Mhmm, go to sleep Shorty."

He's an idiot, an absolute stupid idiot!

After a weekend spent in bed and countless numbers of Oreos eaten, I con my father into giving me a lift to school, even if it is twice as early as I normally would go. And twice as embarrassing because it's a cop car. Luckily for me, it's not raining even if it is effing freezing beyond belief. The top of my ears begin to skin, and I huddle in further into my coat, revelling in its woollen lining. I sit on the picnic bench outside the school and recline back, letting my hair trail on the wood. The space around me slowly begins to fill up with the sounds of cars, and laughter of students. I check my watch. It's still early but... not too early. I grab my backpack and swing it over my shoulder. Across the parking lot I spot Alice pulling in, in her yellow Porsche, her pride and joy. She hops out of the car and lifts both arms over her head waving ecstatically. I smile at her and start to walk in her direction.

Edward steps out from behind one of the many trees in the parking lot. I look right past him.

" Bella."

I walk by, focusing my eyes on Alice. Her eyes flitter between Edward and I.

" You can't ignore me forever Bella, please." He follows me to Alice.

" Hey, how was your weekend?"

She glances at Edward. " Yeah err.. fine I guess."

He puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Would you go away, please?"

" I'm trying my best here," he holds out his hands. " Just listen to me."

" You haven't got a hope in hell," I hiss.

" Maybe, I should leave you too alone."

" No, it's okay Brandon. I'm just leaving. Obviously _someone's_ fucking pride is very important to them." He turns on his heels and storms off, running a hand furiously through his hair.

" Me thinks you're being stubborn Swan."

" Me thinks I'm doing the right thing." And I do… Don't I?

**So… did you like it? Tell me if you did… or if you didn't… maybe hold off it's amazingly negative though haha. No seriously please review review review… it would be awesome to get up to a hundred… like amazing… but you know anything's good haha. Have a great week **

**Oooh fanfic recommendation = Taken by sheviking… it's like my addiction.**


	13. Chapter 12

**Hallo people! No your eyes do not deceive you! Tis actually a new chapter! I know I'm surprised too!!! I've been really busy with my exams so sorry!!! Once there over ( yeah... 8 weeks), I'll post more regularly.... but anyhoos hope you likes... sorry if it seems rushed. It was.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing at all. Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. **

**Oooh, and thank you to iole01 for her LOVELY review. And to Dremadream who reviews like everything, and thank you to everyone else who takes the time to read this and review this and favourite it and story alert so on. I love you all.**

**OOOH book recommendation, Graceling and Fire by Kristen Cashore. Amazeballs.**

BPOV

"Hey."

I jump back from my locker, slamming my head on the door.

" Crap," I groan, rubbing spot with my thumb.

Jasper laughs, throwing his head back. He wraps an arm around my shoulder. "Only you Bella." His cheek is almost pressed against mine, and I blush at the warmth emanating from him. I pull away gently, wary of hurting his feelings. We have to talk about what happened at the party. When he kissed me. A lot.

" I'm not going to attack you Bells", he replies with a grin.

I snort, "We both know what you're capable of."

Again he laughs and that just agitates me more. I frown and squint my eyes at his blatant disregard for my obvious unhappy emotions. The chuckles leave off as he too begins to frown taking a step back. "You're really annoyed about the kiss? You kissed me back, you know Bella?"

Yeah. I know I did. But that's beside the point. Anyone would respond to a kiss like the one Jasper gave me. He's a damn good kisser... but I don't know if I like-like Jasper like that.

I shake my head. "It's not that I'm annoyed Jazz. I'm just... very confused."

He turns and leans against the locker, running a hand through his hair. Despite the fact that I've decided to block Edward from my mind I can't help but notice that he doesn't do the whole hand through the hair as well as him. He's invading everything.

" You've honestly never thought of me that way? Ever."

I shake my head.

" Is it..." he pauses. " Is it Edward or something."

I splutter on nothing, " No... no... it's... of course not." But of course it is.

He rests a hand on my shoulder " Just think about it. I really like you Bells." He leans forward and presses his lips once against my cheek, hovering for a moment.

I purposely let my head whack against the locker.

" What was that?"

" No," I groan. " Go away." As quickly as possible I shuffle to the wall, mission impossible-ing it sideways along the corridor.

Edward follows, not beetle-scuttling like me but simply walking normally down the hall.

" Are you and Jasper together now or something?"

" Why the hell does that matter to you?"

" Well, I've told you I want to be your friend. Friends know about each others' relationships right?"

I stop scuttling. "Do you see me asking about your many herpes infected conquests?"

" Ah", he winks. " So you admit it, we're friends."

" You're an ass."

" And you want me."

" Oh yes, I need you now."

He laughs, " Bella, I..."

I interrupt him, "Edward. I'm going to class now. I'm not in the mood for chatty chat time."

A flicker of hurt passes through his eyes, but he simply nods, quirks up his lips and turns. I watch his back as it retreats back into the crowd. Gosh. I actually feel rather bad. I was... jeez I was sort of a bitch. Yeah, Edward is stupid to put it simply but... he's trying... then again I'm not going to forgive him easily. I'm still emotionally torn up over how he's treated me over the past few years even if he thought he was protecting me.... Life can be so freaking confusing.

EPOV

I'm such a loser. And I apparently have no sense of self preservation because I just let myself get humiliated in front of probably half the teenage population of this god forsaken town . She obviously doesn't want to be near me but I just don't think I could handle losing her again. I'll just have to learn to put up with humiliation and girls actually saying no.

I half slump over on the lab table resting my head in my hands.

I sense Bella moving to sit down and lift my head to give her a small smile. I blink and jerk back at the look on her face. Her eyes are just staring at the floor, her mouth sort of quivering.

" Are you alright", I ask softly.

" Later." She mutters, sitting down.

Mr Banner walks in, dropping his books on the table. Oh joy. " What do you know about genetic engineering?"

The class groans.

" Let's just go to my house, okay. We can talk there. My parents shouldn't be home."

" Alright," I say slowly as she climbs into my car.

We drive in silence till her house comes into view and I pull into the driveway.

" Whose car is that?" I eye the shiny blue Audi next to my car.

I glance at Bella, and her face is scrunched up. "I don't know, Charlie's at work and Renee's supposed to be gone off." She pushes open the door and rushes into the house. I follow quickly.

" Hello, " she calls. No one answers. Then I hear it. A slight giggle, high pitched and a slight laugh, low and deep.

Bella's eyes widen and my heart stops. She charges up the stairs, hands gripping the banisters, shaking.

" Bella, no, no" I insist loudly, calling her back. She ignores me, her eyes completely focused on the room I know is her parents.

The door swings open as I reach out and grab her round the waist, pulling her back. But I'm too late. Her mother lets out a small shriek pulling up the sheet over her body. The man beside her, who is most definitely not Charlie rolls off the bed hiding himself from view. Bella sucks in her breath.

" Bella," Renee whispers. " Oh baby..."

" You.... you bitch," Bella spits, more venom in her voice than I've ever heard. " How could you do this to him, huh?"

Renee attempts to get up, but she shoots her back down with a curse.

" Come on", I grab her. "You don't need to see this."

She doesn't even try to resist as I lead her back out the door and into my house. Renee doesn't follow. In her condition, I really don't think she can. What with her being fucking naked and all.

I rest a hand on her shoulder gently, "Are you okay?" She won't look at me. I hesitate but reach out my hand to cup her chin and tug on it so her gaze meets mine. " Oh, Bella" I say softly. Her chocolate eyes are just brimming with tears, her cheeks a dark and fiery red. I want to do what I never want to do with other girls. I want to reach my arms around her and wrench her in towards me. In short I want to hold her close. And fucking hug her. But Bella's not just any girl. Hence, why I allow the next sentence to come out.

" Do you want to come up to my room?"

She nods her head once, swiftly. Not wanting to freak her out with too much touchy feely stuff, I give her space and what I hope to hell and god is a reassuring smile and cock my head towards the stairs. When I hear her following behind me I allow myself to let out the breath I didn't even know I was holding and open the door so she can step inside my room. Thank god there's no underwear on the ground. That's the last thing she needs to see in her state.

" Do you want to sit down Bella?"

Again she nods and I lower myself onto my bed, patting the space beside me.

" I..." she starts, then hiccups. The tears that were glistening on her eyes just moments ago, flow down her face in bitter torrents and her small frame begins to shake. Her head drops into her hands as she leans forward on her knees tugging in the strands of hair that have fallen onto her face with a viciousness I didn't know Bella possessed. I hate Renee for doing this to her.

I clasp the hands pulling out her hair, in mine, and drag them away, so that she can't hurt herself. She rips them away from me and whacks me in the chest.

" I'm sorry", I whisper. " God Bella I'm so so sorry."

" I... just, how could she do that to Charlie? To me? How long has she been sneaking behind our backs and lying to us?"

" Bella..."

" God, I don't know what to do Edward! Charlie has to know what she's been doing but I don't want to be the one to tell him. I can't... I can't do that! What... what's going to happen?" Again the crying starts and I despair as to what to do. There really is nothing good that you can say in a situation like this. There's nothing that can make you better after witnessing one of the people you love most in the world betray you. Bella's already had to go through this once with me. I won't let Renee hurt her again.

Not caring if she pushes me away or not, I allow myself to give in and pull her in tightly against me. At first, and not entirely unexpected she starts to punch me, tries to hurt me, but I cling on tightly. She stops thumping and scratching until finally she clings to me as tightly as I did to her all those years ago. I smooth down her hair. " It's going to be okay", I whisper as she sobs.

" It will be okay."

After about an hour Bella stills in my arms, and her breathing deepens. Somewhat reluctantly I lower her down onto my bed and cover her up with a throw. I just have to hope she doesn't wake up before I get back. I have things to do.

Charlie answers the door.

" What in buggers sake do you want Cullen", he spits. I. Am. So. Welcomed.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. " Is Renee here?"

Hs eyes narrow but he opens the door a crack wider. " Who's at the door Charlie?" She rounds the corner. Her entire body freezes when she sees me. I glare at her with every ounce of fire I can muster.

" Hello Edward," she attempts to say calmly, her voice cracking.

" Can I talk to you for a moment please," I gesture towards the porch. She flitters briefly between my look of fury and Charlie's look of bewilderment. As soon as she steps outside and Charlie shuts the door, she lunges for me. "Bella, oh my god where is she Edward. Is she okay?"

" She's with me." Immediately she starts to run across to my house. I stop her.

" She's not in a state to see you at the moment Renee."

" She's my _daughter_ Edward."

" Yeah, and right now you're doing a crappy job of being a mother, she doesn't want to come back to a house of secrets. You have to tell Charlie, or I will. She doesn't deserve this. Act like an adult."

She flinches at my words, but I don't care. She deserves it. Or at least needs to hear them.

" I'm scared," she half whispers.

Yeah , you should be. I wouldn't want to face the wrath of chief swan. " It's your mistake Renee. Fix it. Tell him."

With that I turn and leave back to the first girl I've ever let sleep in my bed.

Esme waits just inside the door and practically jumps me as I enter.

" Edward why is Bella Swan asleep in your bed upstairs?"

I sigh " Esme..."

" It's fine Edward. I just... is she alright? Her eyes are red. Should I bring her up something nice? Chocolate cake maybe?"

I smile at this. " Yeah. Thanks Esme. That would be nice."

Her mouth drops down to the floor. Yeah it has actually been recorded, I can be polite when the moment strikes, it's not something I like to go around broadcasting or anything though.

Bella is still lying conked out in my bed, her hair splayed out over the pillow, hands clutching the cover so tightly I can see the bones popping. I lay down beside her, waiting for Esme's arrival with the chocolate cake. For just a moment I allow myself to close my eyes and breathe in the sweet strawberry scent radiating from the person beside me.

" Edward," she murmurs, then emits a soft sigh. My hearts thumps as darkness overcomes me and I fall into a fitful, dreamless sleep.

When the sun comes streaming in the windows, I groan and attempt to roll myself away from it. Instead I come face to face with a mouthful of Bella's hair. Her head is lying on my shoulder, one of her arms flung across my chest. I'm not entirely innocent though since my arms are the ones crushing her to me. Shit, I glance at my nether regions. Stay. Down.

She sighs in her sleep, and grips my shirt tighter. Not doing anything to help my situation. I glance at the clock. Even bigger shit. We're going to be late. Gently I untangle her from me and shake her once,

" Bella", I murmur softly.

She stirs but does not wake. "Bella."Her eyes open slowly, lifeless at first then focusing on the room. She shoots up and whips her head towards me.

" What...?" she trails off, remembering the day before, I assume.

She glowers at the bed sheet.

" You..?"

" I'm fine Edward... just... I have to go back now don't I? I just don't want to face her... or him."

I smile, " You can stay here as long as you need Bella. Or I'll call that cracked up Brandon for you. I'll even call fucking Jasper if you really need it."

Her mouth twitches. " Why are you being so goddamned nice to me?"

" I'm tired of trying to stay away from you Bella...." I shrug. " Just you can use the shower or whatever, " I quickly change the subject. " I'll be back."

Fuck. I zoom out of the room and lean against the door. What was that pussy shit? Next thing you know I'll be fucking getting her clothes for her. Fuck... I should get her some clothes. FUCK. No way is that gonna happen. I hear the shower turn on upstairs, the sound of water dropping onto cold hard ceramics. Clothes.

The tree really is becoming my favourite part of Bella's front garden. I'm lucky she never seems to close her window. I slip in through it easily, I'm such a pro. I reach out and yank open her wardrobe. It's so much more simple than Rosalie's. Firstly there's barely any pink, or sequins. Or clingy crap. There's just a couple pairs of jeans folded, a few t-shirts, Converse, one or two dresses. Nice. Bella. I quickly grab a pair of dark blue jeans, a blue t-shirt and a long grey cardigan. I'm pretty sure her shoes from yesterday will be fine. I turn towards the now looming dresser. "Underwear", it screams. "You have to get her underwear." I shake my head, I don't think I can do that! It's just not possible. Still I make my way over to the drawers and stick my hand in rooting till I find something elastic-y. Jesus, if fucking Charlie walks in now I'm a dead man. I shove whatever I grab under the pile of clothes and make my way towards the window. Something catches my eye on back on the dresser and I stop. It's a picture frame, well sort of. It's cardboard, surrounded by glued on pasta. I'm on the right, beaming and Bella's on the left, her arm in a sling. And in the middle, is my mother. That was the day she took us up to Port Angeles to go shopping. Bella didn't really want to go, but I so rarely got to spend such time with my mother, I begged her to. She agreed rather easily. We hadn't bought much , but mom had taken us to the park and we'd just sat there for most if the day, laughing and eating ice-cream. I can't believe Bella still has this picture. Or the picture frame which was made at a forth grade art camp.

Reluctantly, I return to my house and find her sitting at the kitchen table in a pair of Esme's sweat pants and one of my t-shirts from several years ago. I gulp.

" Hi", she says, tugging on the shirt. " Um, I'm sorry... I had a bit of an accident involving your shower and my clothes and..."

" It's fine Bella... um here." I hand her the clothes.

She blinks. " You got clothes for me. You actually went and got them like?"

I nod, as she stands up and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Thank you Edward."

**Well...there you go... how was it? What do you think of nice-ish Edward... I warn you it may or may not last long... mwhahahaha.**

**Review if you can please **


	14. Authors note:apologies

Hello people! Firstly I am sorry for the A/N. I too dislike them. But really I am so very very sorry that I have not updated in so so long. At the mo, I have massive exams going on. Future deciding exams! Hence I haven't got time to write, much less do anything else. But I promise PROMISE that I will update soon-ish. It will probably be between June 22nd and July 3 ... I know that's a far whack away but please don't give up hope :)

Thanks so much for all the favourites and story alerts and reviews of course! I love you all! Very very much! xxxxxxxx


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